D.Gray-Man Emotions Drabbles

39. Guilt [Kanda Yu]

Theme: Guilt

Person: Kanda Yu

[Name] is missing. She went missing in the midst of last week. No one has come into contact with her. No one knows where she was. Nobody.

Kanda sat on the open window ledge, leaning against the wall that supported the height of the structure. He stared out into the forest below, his mind in blank.

Where did [Name] go? He hadn't seen her since the week before - he knew she was missing, but what if she was just hiding? He was with her on that mission last week; he was the one that had come back alive, she was the one who he was uncertain of.

Was she alive?

Questions popped into his head; it made him want to hit his head against the wall many times so that he could stop thinking stupid things. But no matter what he said or thought, he didn't find her annoying or irritating like everyone else was; even though he would deny that every single time he had a chance. It hit him hard that he was rude and insulting to her every single time, but, she would still be herself, smiling and laughing happily.

It reminded him of Moyashi (Beansprout). He had thought they were siblings sometimes, with all their chit chat, smiling and laughter - it looked obvious, but it really wasn't. They hadn't even met each other until they came to the Black Order. Maybe it was a coincidence?

That mission that Kanda was on - it involved hoards of akuma riding above towns - many of which were flying and some that were level 3's. Some had come and go, just killing people for the sake of it. But - one of them, a level 3, instead of killing, was given a direct order to capture [Name] - grabbing her and taking off when he was preoccupied.

He blamed himself for that problem - she couldn't fight, since she was injured, unconscious by the akuma - and unable to activate her Innocence because of that. Now people at the Order was mourning over what had happened - thinking she was dead.

Kanda looked straight down - and saw a small pond. It was half full with shining crystal clear water - a flower blooming in the middle of the pond. No, it wasn't a lotus - it was something that[Name] liked, not him. What grew in the middle of the pond was a small water lily; similar to that of a lotus, but not a lotus. It was [Name]'s favourite flower.

"Che." Kanda frowned and got off the ledge, going back inside.

Why was he even feeling this emotion?