Andy Samberg oneshots :/

Phone call - Conner Friel

Y/n was at work, writing on her laptop.

She was really nervous, and doing her best to finish her assignment on time, since the deadline was due the end of the day and she wasn't even halfway done, but she kept on being distracted by the buzzing of her phone.

She took a deep breath, and decided to ignore it, when suddently, she got a phone call.

She groaned, and took it.
"Hello?" she answered.

"Heeey girl!!!"

She looked at the screen, perplexed, and as she read the name of the caller, she sighed. It was her best friend, Conner.

"Dude, what is it? I'm busy"

"Yeeeah, suuuure" he said, laughing.

"I'm serious, and I really hope this is important, 'cause I'll kill you, if it isn't"

"Of course it is!"

"What is it then?" she said, already bored from the conversation.

"..."

"Just as I thought" she sighed, rolling her eyes "listen, Conn, I have an assignment to finish and very little time to do so. I can't waste any talking, sorry"

"Come on... since when you care about your work?"

"Since when I figured I'd become a homeless person if I lost it!" she shouted.

Realizing she had raised her voice, she looked around, and found her coworkers looking at her.

She smiled, embarassed, and whispered an apology, sighing as they all went back to work.

"Sorry, didn't mean to shout at you. But seriously, I have shit to do"

"God, you became so boring lately..."

"Fuck you, Conner" she said, angry.

"It's true!" he chuckled "I mean, you're always nervous and stressed out, and got no time to chill with us anymore..."

She got up from her chair, and went to the bathroom, to avoid distracting her coworkers from their work again.

"I know, but it's not like I can avoid it" she said, leaning against the wall.

"Why not?"

"Because they'd fire me if I did! I know you don't know what having a real job means, but us 'losers' that didn't become famous and still have student loans to pay, well, we have to work our ass off in shitty offices like mine to arrive to the end of the month!" she yelled again.

Then she sighed, rubbing her temples.
"...Sorry, didn't mean to shout... again. I'm just... really stressed out, that's all"

"Yeah, I know, I know... sorry I brought it up, I mean... I didn't really realize I could bother you by calling..."

"It's not that, I... I didn't-

"No, you're right... sorry, I'll let you finish your... stuff" he said, his voice suddently loosing all his excitement.
"...Bye y/n"

"Conn-

She tried to say something, but he had hung up already. She sighed.
Her words had clearly hurt him.

It was wrong to take it all out on him, but it's not like she did it on purpose...

"God, I'm such a terrible friend..." she sighed.

"Yes, you are!" said a voice from a few stalls away.

"Oh, fuck you Stacy!" she shouted, leaving the bathroom.
__

The elevator's doors opened on the fourth floor, letting y/n free to come out into the corridor.

She sighed, and got to her apartment's door, opening it, after looking for her keys in her bag for a while.

When she entered, she stood still for a moment, both confused and scared.

The lights were on, and a strong smell of pizza filled the air, which was weird, since she was more than sure she had turned them off before leaving that morning and she hadn't ordered any pizza.

"Hey! I'm in the kitchen!" a voice happily shouted from the other room.

Suddently y/n connected the dots.
"...Conner?"

"Yeah! Come in!"

She thought for a bit, still perplexed, and closed the door behind her, leaving her coat on the hanger and her purse somewhere beside it.

"What are you doing here?" she said confused, walking into the kitchen and folding her arms.

"You gave me the keys to your place a month ago, remember?" he smiled, continuing to cook.

"Yeah... but that doesn't answer my question"

"Oh, right. Well, after that phone call we had this morning I realized that you've been really stressed out-

"Yeah, no shit" she chuckled.

"Let me finish" he said, seriously looking at her.

She rolled her eyes.

"As I was saying" he continued, turning around again "...I realized that you're really stressed out and nervous, and I thought about what you said, and... well, I wanted to help"

"Conn, it's really sweet of you, but-

"I'm not done!" he stopped her once again "...Gosh, what has gotten into you, lately! You're so rude..."

"Well, you're a drama queen, but you don't see me ranting about that..." she mocked him.

"...You just did"

"Whatever"

"ANYWAY" he sighed "I thought 'What does y/n love? Except me, of course'"

Y/n giggled, rolling her eyes.

"...So, long story short, I made you some pizza!" He smiled, looking at her proudly as he stepped aside and pointed towards the oven, where two pizzas where cooking.

"Oh, Conn... this is so nice of you, thanks" she smiled.

She walked closer to him, and hugged him, wrapping her arms around his waist, as he did the same around her shoulders.

She sighed.
"...I'm so sorry for how I've been treating you, lately... always turning down your invitations, and being a dickhead all the time... it's really unfair"

"Nah, don't worry. It's not your fault, I know it's not you speaking when you insult me. Or when you make fun of me. Or when you just yell at me for no reason" he said "...is it ever you talking at all?"

"Idiot" she said, punching his arm.

"Ouch!" he chuckled "...but seriously, don't worry about it"

"But it's not fair that I yell at you! And it doesn't matter that it 'wasn't me', I still shouldn't have"

"Well, yeah, but it's ok, everyone makes mistakes. You're human, it's what humans do, and I surely wouldn't be angry at you for being human"

"...Thank you" she smiled, breaking apart and looking up at him.

"No problem, girl" he winked "Now come on, we've got some pizza to eat"

A/N :/
Hey guys! Thanks for reading!
Gosh, it's been so hard to write today... I've had, like, five ideas and all five times I've ended up hating what I was writing and starting all over again. I just hope this one doesn't suck as well.
Anyway, a bit of platonic friendship for you, guys :3
I hope you liked it!

Peace out, homies :)
- Franx