Belong - an adopted by Hamilton fanfic [Hamilton]

61. To stay: alive

[A/N: Heya! So, this is the long awaited chapter - all written from Vanessa's perspective, to change it up a little.
If there's something to listen to while reading the chapter, it's this:

Stay Alive - The Original cast of Hamilton

Anyway, enjoy!]

Vanessa's POV
"Rue? RUE?!"
Rue was slipping through my fingers, her body lifeless in my arms. I couldn't hear anything but Rue and I. My heart was pounding in my chest, I could feel it through every inch of my body, aching for my heartbeats to give her life.
"No, no, no... Rue, Rue, here, I'm here...", I repeated, stroking her cheek, keeping myself from screaming. "Shhh"
She was still warm.
Still alive.
Still defying her destiny.

"My daughter... Rue. I-I... I think she's overdosed on her antidepressants...", Lin's words echoed through my mind, even though the sentence had been said a minute or two ago.
After that, I couldn't hear him any longer; he'd gone quiet, and I'd zoned out as I was shaking Rue, trying to contact her - but there was only quiet; just as in the eye of a hurricane. The quiet she'd spoken of so many times. Every one of my breaths seemed to take the life out of her, as I was desperately trying to take her back. To bring my daughter back to life.

Suddenly the adrenaline kicked in.
I put my ear against her mouth, and felt a slight breeze, short and irregular, as I looked at her chest - rising just enough.
She was still breathing.
Barely.
But she was breathing.
I was aware of everything again. My eyes unwillingly let go of Rue and turned to Lin, acknowledging him as my mind tried to process what was next.
He was on his knees, his eyes empty as he looked at Rue's lifeless body. He had his phone up against his ear. I could hear the muffled and altered voice coming from it, calmly asking him questions as he'd stopped replying.
"Mr Miranda? Can you hear me? What's happening, Mr Miranda?", Lin swallowed, skipping for air. His other hand was holding her hand. Rue's hand. Everything went by so quickly, as tried to collect my senses - I moved his hand away from hers, my attention turned, yet again, to Rue as I put her in the recovery position.
"She's unconscious, she-she's...", he managed to say, trembling on the words.
"Lin. She's breathing", I said, with such relief, putting it out into the world. It, the sentence itself, almost making it true. Like I wasn't fooling myself any longer. Still, he was blank. "LIN!", I found myself shouting, pushing him in order to take him out of it. His attention came to me, his eyes digging into mine for an answer. "She's breathing"

And my relief reflected in him.

Suddenly, there was a cough - enough to paralyse the both of us.
It wasn't me. Not Lin.
It was Rue. Rue. Our Rue.
Coughing unconsciously, as more fluid and tablets ran out of her - gasping for air.
We held our breaths, as she fought for them.
"Good girl", I said, still holding her so she wouldn't fall out of the position, stroking her hair and keeping my hand on her throat, checking her pulse. It was only now that I recognised the tears falling from my eyes, onto her hair, the puddles of fluid and clothes.
It was only us there. And an altered voice from far away on the phone.
"I'm here, we're here, Niñita", Lin whispered, squeezing her hand.
And I don't know about Lin, but there was a few words repeating in my mind.

Stay.
Please stay, Rue.
We love you so much.
Please stay with us.

Then she got quiet again. Still. Helpless. Powerless. Lifeless.
And everything was just as frightening as before.
Her pulse was there.
Barely, just hanging on by a thread as it got more and more irregular and unpredictable by the second.

Somehow, Lin managed to collect himself. He stood up, his limbs shaking, as I could hear the mumble of the person on the phone, wanting to know what and how much Rue had taken.
I nodded towards him, exhorting him to do what the voice was asking for.
He left for the bathroom, struggling against his own mind.
He didn't want to know.
And he wasn't alone.