Belong - an adopted by Hamilton fanfic [Hamilton]

80. To grow: 1.0

[A/N: So for the first time in forever I've written an actual two parter of a chapter. So welcome to part one!💗]

I walked through the door with Lin, carefully carrying my dress in a garment bag, as I looked around the Theater, taking it all in. It still made me feel small. We walked directly to the stage, and even though we were early, Anthony and Jasmine were already there.
"Eyyy, look who's here!", Anthony exclaimed from the stage, as I took a seat and put my many things down. From the wings, Thayne, Ariana and Renée came out, waving at me excitedly. I awkwardly cracked a laugh, and waved at them, trying to hide the fact that it had actually made me slightly nervous.
"Is it okay for you to stay here, or do you want to be in the dressing room?", Lin kindly asked me, looking at me with a worried eye.
"It's okay", I said, trying to calm myself by tapping. "Nico and Amanda start in 30 minutes, right?", I checked it with him even though I already knew the answer.
He smiled at me.
"Yeah", he said. "Amanda's very excited to see your dress", he continued, hugging me quickly, before adding a last piece of wisdom.
"Take it easy today, Niñita. It's alright to not feel alright", he quietly told me before letting go, and tried to find my eyes.
I nodded, and smiled to the side.
I didn't like to admit it, but I wasn't alright. I had spent the entire day trying to prove my alrightness. And the day before that. And the day before that. It was exhausting. But, I had to be alright today. I was going to meet everyone today. And so, I tried so hard to be alright.

In reality, I hadn't even dared to touch the memories in my mind again, even less the statement I had to write for the trial; the trial that was coming closer and closer with each day that passed. It was all shoved into the back of my mind.

Instead, I had been working on the dress, doing the final pieces of homework and gone to therapy. Mainly working on the dress. Almost obsessively. Because it kept my mind off of things.

So, without a doubt, Lin and Vanessa were worried about me. Last night, I hadn't been able to sleep because the memories were creeping in, and so I had gone up and worked on the dress. Well, until Vanessa had checked on me at 3 am, because she was up to get a glass of water for Sebastian. It couldn't have been fun finding me in the dark, stressing about pins and needles with just my desk lamp being the only source of light. It was exactly what they had been scared for when I agreed to make the statement.

"Okay", Lin said, grinning at me, trying to make me feel better. He walked to the stage and started chatting with everyone, as more and more people started to arrive.
"Rue!", Daveed said as he passed me, his face radiating joy. "Good to see you", he said, as he ran up to the stage, about to be late.
"Good to see you too, Daveed", I told him, trying to sound confident.
"Last week before the Tonys everyone! Let's show them what we've got, eh?", Lin shouted to get everyone's attention before they started rehearsing. I returned to my homework, slowly making sense of the maths problems.
I looked around me, taking in the beautiful theater as they started the warmup. Once again, I was reminded how much I loved this place - even though it made me feel uneasy, at that very time.

I watched the clock, desperately wanting it to go faster. There was so much to do.

A couple of minutes later, Amanda came towards me from the wings, almost running.
"Hey Rue!", she exclaimed excitedly. "Come on, love. Let's go see that dress of yours", she said, taking the garment bag, as I quickly collected my things. I quickly waved at Lin when I disappeared backstage while following Amanda up to the costume section. He waved back, smiling at me with an uplifting look on his face.

Nico was just setting up as Amanda marched inside and I quietly tip-toed behind her, and looked up with a wide grin.
"Is it the prom dress?", he happily asked me, clearly eager to see it, to which I nodded.
"Well then, put it on!", Amanda laughed, putting her curly red hair up in a bun.
"Oh, okay-", I said while I took the dress and went to their little dressing room, feeling slightly nervous to show my work. What if they won't like it? Why didn't I just buy one?