Belong - an adopted by Hamilton fanfic [Hamilton]

34. To set: goals

[thank you sm for giving my fanfic a read, and HI to all of you new readers. enjoy the chap!]

Under the next few days, Lin got more & more overprotective. He never let me out of his sight, or Sebastian either, for that matter.
Again, my trouble percent had accelerated with 23%.
I'd taken my meds everyday. Lin or Vanessa watched me take them - like I was under monitoring all the time.
On the sixth day we'd gone down to the beach, I was quite calm, for a day outside my comfort zone as I stepped into the sun after Lin always kept an eye on our surroundings, looking out for the guy. I looked down as he did that, tapping my thigh.

After he accepted that the coast was clear, Lin sat down and I kept on tapping my thigh.
Otherwise Sebastian will die, Rue.
That's when the sunstroke thought hit me again, like it had done every other day.
Put on 4 coats of sunscreen. If you don't, you'll get sunstroke & you'll be sick & maybe you'll make everyone else sick?
I was digging in my bag after the sunscreen, hiding in the shadows of a sunshade. Lin had sat down in a chair, and was completely emerged by the book I'd given him a few days ago.
As I started with my feet, not missing a spot as I glanced over at Sebastian, holding a tiny space and carrying a bucket looking extremely adorable. Vanessa was sitting cross legged, taking a picture, Sebastian facing away - of course - looking at the waves, and suddenly making a dash for the water.
Being just five meters from the blue sea, and apparently a 14 month old could sprint, wobbling just like the toddler he was, without tripping over in the blink of an eye.
Vanessa was up just a second after, running after Sebastian.
His little feet touched the water, and as I started to put sunscreen on my thighs, he fell. Front faced.
As it happened in a matter of seconds, Lin only catches up by now, seeing me staring at the scene in a panicky way as I started to count my breaths, tapping my thigh again.
Was this my fault? It must be... did I miss a routine this morning?

Vanessa scooped him up in a millisecond, worriedly looking at him after some scratches.

There was none. As a matter of fact, Sebastian was laughing, trying to get away from his mum - to start splashing water around himself.
I could notice the flare of relief on her face, nodding towards Lin. They didn't seem too worried. Not me worried.
I tapped my thigh for four minutes.
Just to fix what's been.
Lin laughed.
"Great timing to trip, amirite, bud?", Vanessa giggled as she put Sebastian down, who bluntly ran back to the sea, drenched & laughing - making V rolling her eyes, and Lin chuckle.
I quickly put on the first coat. Precisely.

When I was done, Seb was on his fourth sprint to splash. I grabbed the spade & bucket.
"Sebbo, wanna make a sandcastle?", I high-pitched & happily asked him. His little face lit up.
"Sandcastle! Sandcastle!", he answered as I'd thought, his habit of repeating things was rather cute. And it made Lin shut up sometimes. Especially when he randomly would notice himself in the middle of the act of rapping for example the ending of The Adams Administration. Or, Vanessa for that matter. The Addams family. And me. Waitress.
But, I was also positive that Seb was completely clueless about what a sandcastle was.
Wait for 5 minutes before applying the next coat. Count.
Vanessa happily joined us.
I filled the bucket with sand, tipping it over and creating the first tower of the castle. A castle in the sky.
Sebastian smashed, ever so happy. I couldn't care less, he was my baby brother by heart. How could I blame him?
So, I blinked instead.

When I did my fourth, and final, round of sunscreen, Lin raised an eyebrow at me.
"Rue?", he asked.
I sighed.
You missed a spot. That area again.
I'm helpless.
"I don't only look out for the bad guys, I look out for your quirks too", Lin calmly said to me, like an arrow hitting its target - in a kind way.
"I know, I know, it's just...", I was rambling on, as I looked up. He'd taken the bottle of my solution, of my security of fixing things for the moment.
"Please? It's just one coat left", I begged. Lin shook his head. I put on my pleading eyes.
"Do you really need it?", a real question-question, as he stood up. I nodded. He looked at me with disbelief. "Really?"
I nodded again. And again, just to make sure.
You need it, you need it, you need it.
"Like, what if I get sunstroke or, or, I don't know, skin cancer?", I blabbered like there was no tomorrow. Lin placed his hands on my shoulders, bending down to look me in the eyes.
Tell them all your secrets, but disguise them.
Yeah, you can get cancer too. You need it.
"Niñita, calm down. You won't get sunstroke. Or skin cancer, for that matter. I'm not gonna let you fall asleep in the sun. Do you trust me?", he said, straight to the point - somewhat calming me down. I nodded. I always believed him & Vanessa.
"Look at Sebastian, how he laughed when the danger hit him. How he laughed away the fear. You don't notice the difference in you, but I do. Your routines have diminished so much for the past pair of weeks. Be proud over yourself, instead of denying the fact. 'Kay?", his little speech, that I almost suspected he'd written in his head for days, making me feel so out in the blue. So bare for the world to see.
Blink 23 times.
It felt like such a cliché pep talk.
You need the sunscreen.
To be honest, my whole life was a cliché. Part of the foster system, gets fostered by a lovely family which just so happens to include the current king of broadway.
Just like it was taking out of the musical of Annie.
"Okay. Can I finish my coat, and then I'll tell you two next time I get worried and you'll distract me?", I questioned, not just Lin, but also myself.
Here comes the sun, and it's alright.
I set a goal for myself. For the first time in forever.
But, I was also questioning myself if I could manage to do it.
Lin beamed at me. Like the sun.
"Pride isn't the word I'm looking for", he confirmed in the cheesy Hamilton-way by doing what every writer of a musical always does, quoting their own musical.