Belong - an adopted by Hamilton fanfic [Hamilton]

52. To: disappear

I yawned, looking at Carson with a face that only gave away a vibe of being lost.
"Sorry. I just don't get it", I said, looking down at my scribbled notes of today's class.
"Yes, you do. Look here - you solved these four ones", he laughed, as I glanced the problems with a blank face - solving them easily.
My hands weren't quite healed from Friday. The deep scars wouldn't ever go away. The probability wasn't in my favour.

A little girl dropped a plate at the other side of the Café, making me turn my head and blink four times.
I was so tired.
I'd taken 7 pills this morning and I still couldn't focus.
"Hey, solve this then...", Carson said, pointing at the left page of my math book.
I gave it a look and tapped my thigh as the surrounding people's voices became louder and louder.
It was Tuesday, which meant studying with Carson. Usually we just ended up talking, but he was writing an important essay in the midst of helping me.
I blinked a few times, biting my tongue.
I then looked away, still writing as I did the calculations parallel to the routines.
Dot.
"And you want my help?", Carson laughed, and I gave him a strange look, not entirely sure what he meant. "That's my math book. Not yours"
Penny in the air.
Oh.
Penny drops.
"Oh", I looked down, almost ashamed of having complained to him about not getting it.
"Do you want an ice tea?", Carson said out of the blue, looking up from his laptop.
"Sure. Peach, please", I said, writing a text to the family chat, pretty sure he's already left before I said what I wanted.

<< I'm with Cars. Home in an hour or so😌

Cars put down a peach ice tea in front of me, and a lemon ice tea for him.
"Peach ice tea, without any decorations, like some sort of leaf", looking back at our first Café trip on Valentine's Day, where I'd taken out every single leaf or other decoration as I couldn't stand it being blended.
"Thanks", I beamed at him.
Though, I was way too polite to ask for a plain tea.
Therefore, Carson always ordered.
Every Tuesday.

"I've gotta go and work", Carson said after 45 minutes of talking, leaving the schoolwork behind.
"Oh, absolutely. Though I wouldn't call it work, like, you cuddle with dogs all day long. That's a luxury", I said, giggling as he started to pack his things together.
"Nah. There are a lot of new puppies right now though. So double the cuddle and add a ton of cleaning", he added, laughing.
"Oh, well. What's a royal ball? After all, I suppose it would be frightfully dull, and-and-and boring, and-and completely... Completely wonderful", referencing Cinderella, knowing our Disney-loving selves. "I've got homework to do, believe it or not"
We both laughed.
"Anyways. Byeee!", he said, still laughing as he quickly hugged me, waving as he walked out and into the rush hour.

A few minutes later, there was some sort of murmur, suddenly making me feel uneasy.
"Huh?", I questioned.
"Rue Leighton?", the male voice said. I nodded, still not letting myself look up. He'd used Leighton like it was an invective. We hadn't made the adoption public yet, as the legal papers and all that came along with it had taken a bit later. Now it felt almost a bit unusual. "You wouldn't mind me asking you a few questions would you?"
I forced myself to look up.
And there he was, in all his honour. Back from the dead. Hungry for new information. The journalist I didn't know, who always knew more about me than I did myself.
The man who'd made me panic twice in the last few months.
"No, no, I don't mind... but just a few, I have to go soon", I said - too polite to say what my heart wanted, to say no since my heart was pounding. And not in a good way. A panicky way that I couldn't stop.
"So. Ruth Leighton, are you aware that you snatching on me got me fired?"
His voice had a threatening undertone, making me shield the rest of the café away - focusing on the threat, paralysed rather than running away.
"No", I breathed. The shame hit me. It was my fault. My fault.
"You've taking my living away. For what? To make your overprotecting fake parents happy. I was just doing my job", he said, spitting the words at me.
A defence mechanism of tapping switched on.
"Therefore, you're going to calmly pack your things together, just as the next person would do, and follow me into my car three minutes after I've walked out. It's the taxi, just by the entrance"
I didn't move.
"If I see you talk to anyone or make a call, whatever, and I'll make you suffer. Got it?"
A quiet nod.
I could see him lift up something and hide it in his pocket. A gun?
He left.
I counted.
One second; one tap.