Okay, so this one was requested *o*
Haha so have you ever had to break up with someone? No? Oh well this is awkward...
lol okay whether you have or not, take the following into consideration (or not..yeah,preferably not.) if the time ever comes when you have to break up with someone. Here are a list of the top 20 hilarious/douchey ways on how to do so. :D dump or be dumped guaranteed!!!!!
~~~
1) "I'm in love with your dog."
2) Set their front lawn on fire with gasoline to spell out : its over. Ive found love within a snail. And God bless [insert your country here]
3) make a map for them and send them out on a treasure hunt. It will lead them to a treasure chest that has a note inside. It reads: GTFO.
4) Bring them out on the Jerry Springer show, but instead create a fake story to confess to them. For Example: "ive been meaning to tell you this for a while. But I'm a tranny."
5) "Roses are red, Violets are blue. Trash is dumped, And so are you."
6) Make your mom leave a voicemail on their phone to break up with them for you.
7) "I accidentally infested my ex's house with my lice. You don't mind insects on your body, right?"
Yeah, that'll have them running.
8) One day when they spend the night at your house, pretend to be possessed and just creep up behind them when they're sleeping. Quietly shake their shoulder, and when they turn around to look at you, shriek uncontrollably like a creature from the depths of hell, scaring the frick out of them. Then just colllapse onto the floor and start shaking like ur having a seizure. Then act all normal and get up and just sit next to them. In a low, wicked witch-like voice, Say : I'm the spawn of the devil. You'll get used to my .....other side.
9) On their doorstep, dig a whole about 15 feet deep. Cover the hole with leaves. They'll fall into it AND THERE YA GO. problem solved, a breakup guaranteed.
10) on valentines day, give them a card that looks all lovey-dovey on the outside. In capital letters ON THE INSIDE, write : IM BREAKING UP WITH YOU BECAUSE U NO APPRECIATE ME. Y U NO APPRECIATE ME????!!!!
11) take them on a vacation far far away from home. Ditch them and go back home. On the way home, text them your breakup speech...
12) . You tell them that you're a spy and are switching projects.
13) take them out for their birthday. when they're blowing out their candles, tell them to wish for a new bf/gf.
14) "My cat agrees that it is time for us to go our separate ways..."
15) Call 911 and when they come, grab your bf/gf and shove them toward the police. Shout : "he/she's the one!! Seize them! !!"
Then quickly mumble : "sorry, we're over."
16) THE DOCTOR SAYS I'M DYING OF CANCER SO I THINK YOU BETTER FIND SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE I'M ONLY EXPECTED TO LIVE FOR 6 MONTHS.
17) smash a pie in their face and release a smoke grenade into the room. Vanish.
When the smoke clears, they'll see a note you had left them, stating your reason for leaving them.
18) change your fb to single, sending them a notification.
19) when they aren't home, egg their house. Go to their window and use your fingers to spell out, "I'm breaking up with you," in the splattered eggs on the glass.
Disappear off the face of the earth.
20) go bungee jumping with them. When you come back up, pretend to be dead. Get sent to the hospital. When they leave, pretend to wake up and pretend to be okay. Run home to make a clean break for it. Have your mother call him/her to tell them you've died, when obviously you haven't.
YOU ARE READING
The BIG Book of RANDOM
RandomBasically where I let out my random energy and things I would like the world to know. CAUTION: Too many intakes of random jokes may result in LAUGHTER :D
