HAI INTERWEBBERS! :D
I thought I'd go joke stealin' from twitter, tumblr, and so many more c:
To freshen up the chapters, enjoy some things I gathered online by randomness. I wrote this at like 1Am btw, going through this insomniac phase 0.0 idk I just haven't been able to sleep for the past few days, but let's just hope I don't turn into a zombie. But anyway, lets get this chappie's real topic started ;D
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Randomness.
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"I'm fresher than a motherfucker!"
"Grandma, Put the febreeze away."
If you make the same mistake twice, then it wasn't a mistake at all, it was a choice.
Awww you broke your leg? That's sad :/ Can i try your crutches now?
"Omgz hav!n such a gewd tiem wif mai bestiez, lolzzz!" Seriously? Take your keyboard, and bash your head into it.
Chrometophobia is the fear of money.
When you're walking, then start texting and walking slower, and slower, and slower, until you're just standing there texting.
That gangsta feeling when you rap your favorite song without messing up.
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people, "Alright, get in the basket.
Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing!
"Hi, Welcome to Hollister. Here's your gas mask and your flashlight."
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool.
I've got a time machine. I get in and it takes me seven hours into the future. I call it... bed.
I Hate It When I Can't Fall Asleep Because I'm Thinking
I can't clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find.
Hanging with old friends and saying remember when...
If you put your finger in your ear and scratch it sounds like you're playing Pac-Man.
I hate when im singing a song and someone corrects me..... Bitch what if I was freestyling..
We all have that one friend that never has a clue whats going on.
I like Running like a gorilla up the stairs because it's easier that way.
I wish fire trucks and ambulances played "Move Bitch, Get Out The Way" instead of using sirens
That awkward moment when you realize that person wasn't waving at you.
You thought the picture was ugly, But you uploaded it anyway? Oh, That makes perfect sense.
I just broke my personal record of days without dying today.
I can move things with my mind....... Like, My Arms
Internet Attention Span: Open a new tab, Forgets why......
Doing your chores like a ninja while your parents pull up the driveway.
Smiling at someone that hates you just to piss them off more.
You know your ass is ugly when you're the one always asked to take the photo.
Ghetto Translations: "It be like that sometimes" = I am aware of your situation, unfortunately there is nothing I can do about it.
Racism is when the white iPhone costs more than the black iPhone.
That awkward moment when you buy a bag of air and there are chips inside.
That awkward moment when you find out that after all these years your toys have secretly made 3 movies behind your back.
Oh, YOLO? Tell that to zombies.
When you drop something right in front of you and it completely disappears.
Most people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.
"I don't know... let's Yahoo it!" -Said by no one, ever.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA NO.
Oh no, don't worry about me.. It's not like I have feelings or anything.
BUT MOM...why would any of my friends jump off a bridge
Saying You're welcome" to people that don't say "Thank you""
Sayin "bitch" after proving your point
You're not sorry you did it. You're sorry I found out.
Why do we have to be quiet during a fire drill? Will the fire hear us?
Saying "I'm almost there" when you actually haven't even left the House
That Moment of joy when you see your food coming in a restaurant
Using rock, paper, scissors for serious decision making
Telling inanimate objects to STAY when they look like they're going to fall
Trying To Tell My Parents A Funny Story ... And It Turns Into A Life Lesson.
When I Was Younger, I Put My Face Close To The Fan To Hear My Robot Voice.
WHERE THE F*CK IS MY.......... oh nvm found it.
Oooh that sounds a bit harsh. Let me put an "lol" at the end of it.
How did someone discover milk came from a cow? Did a guy just go up to a cow and be all like "I wonder what these dangly things are. OMG they're leaking."
All those years I watched Arthur, I never knew what animal he was...
Sucking a cup to your face and then panicking cause it won't come off.
Dora, you're multilingual at age 4. You should be able to find the damn banana tree.
YOU ARE READING
The BIG Book of RANDOM
RandomBasically where I let out my random energy and things I would like the world to know. CAUTION: Too many intakes of random jokes may result in LAUGHTER :D
