The BIG Book of RANDOM

So True Moments

Random 'so true's' nd other jokes.

Isn't it funny how in movies when someone gets shot in the arm, they start to walk with a limp?

Just place a STUDENT DRIVER sticker on top of your car, and suddenly no one suspects you of drunk driving at 8am.

It's funny how we all say "This new facebook sucks" and yet we keep using it.

It's like saying, "This food tastes like shit" and then you keep eating it.

I was having trouble sleeping so I decorated my bedroom to look like a classroom. Now I fall asleep faster.

That moment of panic when your barber says "Whoops!!"

That awkward monument when you realize you just read the word "Monument" as moment.

The Judge gave me two options. Either go to Prison for 30 Days or serve 30 Days under House Arrest. I chose House Arrest.

Luckily I'm Homeless.

I used to watch TV, read the paper, and listen to the radio. Now I watch the internet, read the internet, and listen to the internet.

That awkward moment when you use a car window as a mirror to fix your hair/make-up, and then 5 minutes later you realize there's someone inside.

I was at the store & asked for 100 Condoms. 2 Girls behind me started laughing. I turned around & looked at them in the eyes and then said, "Make that 102" (A/N \: Lol I didn't make this one up, I'm a girl...^_^...)

I got an A+ on my Homework. ........... Sorry, I mean Google got an A+ on my homework.

The number 2 cause of death among Gang members in America today are Guns.

 The number 1 cause of death: "Not having a Gun."

My girl walked in on me while I was on MySpace, So I quickly switched it to a porn site just to save myself from embarrassment.

That moment when you drop your phone and you become paralyzed as you watch it fall in slow motion.

Common Sense seems to be a rare commodity these days. I think it should be classified as a super-power to those who have it.

Superman: "I can fly, what's your superpower?"

Me: "Common Sense."

Superman: "That's Fucking Awesome."

Why is it that I can't get a cell phone signal in my own house in the city, but yet a terrorist can upload a video from his cave in Afghanistan??? SMH.

I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell 'Mississippi' and she asked, "The River or the State?"

I just Googled "Myspace" and google said, "Did you mean FACEBOOK."

Having a back-up plan only means that your main Plan sucks.

I immediately trust anyone who begins a sentence by saying "If My Calculations are Correct ......."

Seeing the first question on a test and thinking, "Yup...I'm screwed."

If fuel prices keep going up I'm removing the bottom floor of my car and I'm "Flintstoning" that badboy!