Chapter 19: Bitterness and Pain

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The sounds of quiet sniffles filled the little cave. My thumb absently was rubbing along Winston's sweaty cheek. He passed out and fell into a restless sleep, head head still in my lap. I slowly flicked my eyes around, counting how many were left.

Winston, Minho, Newt, Frypan, Jason, Jeff, Thomas, Tess, Aris and me.

Only 10 left. 8 Gladers, and Aris and myself. That's it. That's all that made it out of the Maze. And Aris was the only one left from his maze ...my first maze.

I hung my head. He had no idea what happened to the rest of the girls. Rachel and him were the only ones WICKED had grabbed during the fake rescue. I could feel the black despair creeping back into the place my heart was supposed to be.

I slid my bow and backpack off. Without taking my one hand off Winston I reached into my bag and pulled out Chuck and Sadie's teddy bear.

Aris sat at the entrance of the cave, his back straight and stiff. Thomas sat huddled against the wall. Newt had laid down beside him. Frypan was doing his best to comfort Jeff. He had rolled over to face the wall. Jason was staring blankly at the ceiling. Minho sat beside me, unmoving and silent.

Teresa crawled over.

"Jess." She whispered gently. "Let me see that arm."

I didn't answer, just sat, like I had given up. I felt Minho shift. He took my arm and gently pushed my jacket sleeve up, revealing the bloody bite mark. It looked disgusting, even in the dark shadows. The crank left black gooy phlegm and slobber. The wound itself was raw and ragged. I saw Minho flinch. The wound didn't phase me. It was gross, sure, but I just didn't have the emotional capacity to feel anything.

Teresa took the first air kit and started cleaning it.

"This is going to sting." She warned.

Again I just sat, unmoving and unflinching. She sighed and continued. It did stung, but not as much as my heart. It felt like I was having a heart attack. Pain was shooting from my chest and into my back into my shoulder and down my arm. But I also felt numb, like I was in a dream. Or a nightmare; like none if this could be real.

Teresa wrapped my arm in a clean bandage and placed my arm back in my lap. She packed the first aid kit up and moved away, she went to sit with Aris at the front of the cave. I was glad Minho didn't force me to talk. He was hurting just as much as me. If not more. He knew those boys from their Day One. I wish I could leave the cave and just sit alone, but that was not smart. And I couldn't leave Winston.

He whimpered again in his fitful sleep. I stroked his cheek gently, brushing his sweaty hair from his grimy face. Minho's hand was on my back again. I was thankful for his quiet presence beside me. The cave eventually became filled with rhythmic breathing of everyone as they lay down. Aris eventually lay down when he saw I was still awake in the back. He looked at me and I nodded. Our silent conversation, I'd take over the watch.

The screaming of cranks became quieter, as the night grew lighter. They didn't seem fond of the day. I watched the dark night sky soften to a pale blue, and then the first rays of the sun broke through and it was dawn, and then bright happy rays of sunshine filled the sky. Mocking my hurt, pain and suffering.

I watched as a black bird swooped down. It landed by the entrance. It hopped around looking for food. We didn't have much. I slowly picked up a rock. It was trying to pull something shinny out of Thomas backpack. It woke him up. He sat up trying to shoo it away.

It squawked loudly.

"Go on! Get! Get away!" Thomas shouted.

The bird took flight. I threw the rock and the bird fell from the sky. Thomas yelled and looked over at me with eyes wide and mouth open in shock.

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