The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 86

XAVIER ROCKWELL

Dealing with heartbreak was not the easiest thing in this world and I may have just learned the true power of your heart being shattered into smithereens. My mother knew that all along. I just wished she would've been the good mother that I've always wanted her to be and warned me about the dangers of falling in love and getting your heart broken. I may have gone through a lot of breakups in the past but they weren't as agonizing as this one and that's most probably because I wasn't truly into women before.

Ending things with Jordi Adkins seemed to be the beginning of the real deal. As far as I'm concerned, it hasn't been that easy to be me and to be surrounded with people who simply does not care about me. The days have gone and passed and while I have been trying my best to ignore Jordi's entire existence, I couldn't deny the utter fact that I'm still feeling shaken every time I see him in class.

How was he doing?

How was he holding up?

Did he found someone else to replace me?

Is he still crying over me?

There are a lot of questions forming at the back of my head each time I retreat to bed and see Jordi's face every time I try to close my eyes. I see him smiling, cuddled up inside my arms and all I'm doing about it was trying my best to shake them off like some dust. Maybe I do still care for him. Not the case. The truth is, I really do still care for him.

"You're spacing out!" I heard Tristan utter something to me though I didn't quite catch what he just uttered. We both just arrived at this newly opened restaurant right in the heart of the city. I don't know why I agreed to join him for dinner when I'm still skeptical about this open relationship thingy that he and his boyfriend are having. I was just thinking of using him just to distract myself but he seemed like he's enjoying company.

"W-what?" I tried to gather myself up.

"I said you're spacing out."

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, I was just thinking about something else." I pulled myself closer to the table and grabbed the menu right in front of me. "So, uhm... What are we getting?" I continued trying to focus on the list of dishes scribbled on the menu. I don't really recognize most of the things on menu and I'm a little bit shy to ask. I haven't eaten in a place like before and while I like the music and the overall aesthetic of the place, I'm still trying to take grasp of the situation.

When I looked over at Tristan, he was already telling his order to the waiter and he did not even try to take a look at the menu. He simply told his order which made me feel like I'm the stupid one here. I felt slightly ashamed that I can't even read anything on the menu mostly because it's a French restaurant and I failed my French class so I ended up switching into Spanish.

"So, what do you want to have?" Tristan asked right after he finished talking to the waiter. He was looking at me with such anticipation that it was making me nervous.

"I..." I paused and took another look at menu. I can't even pronounce anything that's written on this goddamn thing. "I-I'm going to have what he's having."

"I didn't know you like testicles." Tristan chuckled.

"I mean; I do like testicles." I replied giving off the same energy. Of course, I like testicles, I enjoyed having fun with Jordi.

"Hahaha, yeah but no, I really meant, you like testicles?" Tristan was now serious. "I ordered Couilles de mouton and Escargots de Bourgogne."

"Couil... what now?"

"Couilles de mouton."

"And what is that?" I feel dumb and maybe I should've just asked Tristan to bring me to a normal restaurant. Tristan and the waiter shared an understanding look.