The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 79

XAVIER ROCKWELL

The next morning was definitely the worst. Yes, I may have drowned all of the rotten thoughts and the anguishing emotions that I have been feeling last night on that unprecedented drinking spree. Yes, I may have forgotten about the predicament that my dad's fucked up family announcement has given me. Yes, I may have drowned the agonizing feeling that I obtained from watching my boyfriend Jordi kiss another guy. But all of those are only just spent in a fleeting moment.

I woke up on the doorway where I unconsciously fell asleep last night. I don't know how the fuck did I not crawl my way towards the bed but I guess I may have cried myself to sleep. Just as expected, I have a banging hangover and I feel like I've been tortured by the FBI because my muscles felt sore. As soon as I opened my eyes, the brightness coming from the sun rising towards the horizon just slit through my eyes adding such intensity to my already existing headache. Whoever designed this condominium, I don't understand why they chose to put glass instead of just a window. It took me a long while before my eyes could adjust from such brightness and when I was done, I realized I left the place untidy.

I don't really mind the banging headache and the physical fatigue mainly because that's natural for someone who went on a drinking spree. However, things are even more difficult when I realized I'm a fucking mess. I was rather worried and thinking about my feelings and I don't even know if I'm going to survive this day. As soon as I got up, I instantly had a flashback of everything, it was a flashback tsunami and just like that, I'm back to square one. All of those painful feelings and the unnerving anxiety that I opted to drown and forget, they all made their way back rushing inside of me.

It was brutally difficult to move when you're having a horrible hangover and then also, you're feeling the shittiest on the inside. Apart from those, I could also feel like there's a drought inside my throat that even clearing it was painful. I gradually brought myself to the fridge and as I was pouring myself a glass of ice-cold water, I suddenly felt intensely queasy. I had to rush towards the bathroom and I ended up throwing up a lot of the stuff that I ate. As I was throwing up, I almost felt like I'm going to barf all my guts out.

It took me along while to finish throwing up and for a few seconds, I laid hugging the toilet bowl. I felt like I just threw up everything that I've eaten last night and the day before that but I will say, I felt a little better once I got some of the food and alcohol outside my system. I got back to the kitchen and as I was quenching my thirst, I noticed the shattered glass from the bottle of whiskey that I threw into the wall last night. It was all over the floor. I also saw how the whiskey has dried up leaving some stains on the floor.

"Oh, fuck!" I cursed under my breath. I'm really fucked up and I don't want even had the slightest thought of dealing with cleaning when I just want to lay down in my bed and bask in this glory of total misery. I ended up ignoring everything.

I could smell myself and it was awful but I chose to ignore everything. I slipped on some clean clothes just to feel slightly fresh and just as I was about to get back to sleep, my phone suddenly began to ring. At first, I was afraid to check it because the only people calling me are either my dad or Jordi. Those are the same two people who's been messing with my head and my heart. Those are the two men that got me fucked up.

When I checked my phone, I saw Jordi's name and the green telephone icon was visually pulsating making me feel much rather hurt and pissed. I just stared at my phone for a long while and I'm not really sure if I want to strike a conversation with Jordi or if I should just keep all of these feelings locked up inside of me.

I kept on thinking why did he kissed Zach and it's actually getting me nuts. I love him so much and this is what he throws me back in return? I mean, I know Zach's been the hottest guy, the golden boy, the mister perfect man in the entire school which at least gives a decent reason for someone to kiss him. But still, I don't understand why Jordi did that. Am I not enough?