The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 17

JORDI ADKINS

Am I in a hazy fever dream or everything's happening in reality? Is Xavier really apologizing for all of the shitty things that he's done to me? Is he really regretting making my life a living hell? I have never thought of that kind of scenario, not in a million human years but here he is, sitting all calm and serious right in front me.

"I'm going to start by saying I'm sorry. I really want to apologize for making your life a living hell." The words echoed back and forth inside my head. Although I should feel good that he had decided to swallow whatever bull crap his having and finally stepped down from his asshole high horse, I'm still in great shock. I couldn't bring myself to grasp the situation. I don't know exactly if I'm more than willing to forget that I wanted to slit his throat, that I wanted to feed him to the lions, that I wanted to just pop him off to existence.

"I don't exactly know how could I make up to you but I'm really really sorry for every single horrible thing that I've done to you, Jordi. I've been a shitty person but I want you to know that I have my own reasons and in time, when I'm brave enough to open up, I'd let you in. I hope you give me a chance." Xavier went on, his tone was drenched with such genuine acumen that I'm almost melting deep inside. This was expensively hard to believe and I don't even want to admit it but I maybe buying this.

"Xavier..." I spat. "I-I'm not sure if I'm hearing everything right." I stared at my own drink not really wanting to look at him in the eye. He looked real, everything felt real.

"Yes, Jordi. I'm apologizing for pouring cold juice all over you and beating the shit out of you inside that janitor closet." He continued.

I looked at him finally taking the chance to remind about every single thing that he has done to me. "And that time you kicked a ball to my face?"

"Yes, I'm sorry for that." He swallowed hard.

"And that time you pulled down my pants right in front of everybody?"

"That one too. I'm sorry for embarrassing you."

"And that one time you almost chok..."

"Yes, Jordi. All of it. I am here to make things right."

This is way too good to be true. It seems like a dream coming true except that I never really dreamed of him apologizing to me. I was more like yeah, he's going to be shitty and I don't have any power to change that. Perhaps, this was more like that one scene in Alice in wonderland when the young white queen blamed the young red queen for the cookies and crumbs left hidden under the rug. That drastically altered the course of their lives and if the young white queen just owned up to her actions and apologized then everything would've been better. Although if she really did apologize and owned up to her actions then we wouldn't be getting those iconic characters.

In this situation, this was Xavier Rockwell owning up to everything that he did and sincerely apologizing. It feels impossible like seeing an albino crow or a fish walking on land or any closeted republican actually coming out.

"Wow, I can't believe this is really happening." I took a deep sigh being unable to digest everything that came out of Xavier's mouth.

"It is happening, Jordi." Xavier reiterated. "It's just, I-I'm having the hardest time of my life and you, Jordi, you made me uneasy and confused. I have so much going on with my life that I don't want any of that."

I felt a sudden lump in my throat. "H-how did I made you uneasy and confused?"

There was deep silence for quite a while and I was just waiting for Xavier to shine some light to his recent statement. Xavier looked away and I could very clearly tell that he's nervous to continue speaking. He bit his lower lip while staring at the table and then in a short while, his hand slowly reached for my hand. I immediately felt a sudden jolt when his skin made contact to mine. I don't know if he felt that too but we were both snappy at pulling our hands away from each other.