The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 51

XAVIER ROCKWELL

Quietly tapping on Jordi's computer, I suddenly had the urge to stand up and fix my package. I just had a hard on that's way beyond my control and I'm embarrassed that Jordi might notice it when he returns. I quickly slid it off to the side and then sat back.

I don't want to admit it but I'm getting really transfixed by this gorgeous creature that's Jordi. It was just a simple touch but there's no denying the magic that it had cast upon me. When he traced the veins in my hand, I really felt a jolt of electricity run a full course through my body. The feral predator inside of me had its fangs and claws out and I just want to slam this angel onto the bed and take him. I want him in my skin so freaking bad but I just had to keep my hands to myself. Maybe for now and maybe for the next few hours, although I don't know if I could take it. He told me that I could stay for the night and just by thinking about the things that I want to do with him, of the things that I want to do unto him, was already making go nuts.

I kept on scrolling the mouse carelessly checking if there's even a good movie to watch on netflix. I don't even want to watch anything because I just to lay down and kiss Jordi so hard that we both lose our oxygen supply.

I ended up scrolling up until the end and I never found anything that's really interesting to me at least. Perhaps, I should let Jordi pick something, he was the one who suggested this and maybe he had something planned in mind. I decided to follow him downstairs. I was wearing a mirthful smile but as soon as I inched my way towards the living room, the curve on my face immediately disappeared.

My ever wondering eye laid on my dad who looked just as astonished as I was and I instantly felt like I want to erupt instantaneously. I fucking loathe this man and for a lot of reasons, I kind of wish he would just choke to death.

Maybe I was just having a nightmare, I thought to myself but that's only me trying to convince myself that I'm not seeing what I'm seeing. It's really difficult for me to take this moment in. Setting my eyes on the man that decided to bring me into this world just to completely ruin everything made me feel utterly shitty. I haven't seen him in a very long time and while I may have stopped thinking about him, the anger that I've been harboring for him all of these years was still there and still growing. It began to boil.

My ears began to tingle in total heat and just when I laid sight on Jordi, I immediately knew I had to get out of this place. I certainly and respectfully don't want to unleash whatever wrath that I have on the inside. This is such a perfect household that I know I would never ever have but I'm still sane and I love Jordi that I don't want anything to ruin that.

"X-Xavier? Is that you, son?" My dad muttered as if he doesn't already who the fuck I was. This was the very first time that I've heard him call me son. I don't really know if I'm going to cry or if I'm going to scream at him.

I have so many splash of horrible feelings coalescing together but the most intense hue was anger. I clenched my fist as I was trying to control my rage. My chest felt heavier than I ever felt and I know that in just a matter of moments, I would surely explode. I ended up walking straight towards the front door.

"XAVIER!" I heard my dad follow me.

I picked up my pace and walked even faster but then I thought this was the moment to confront my old man. I never really got that chance and maybe I won't ever get another chance so fuck it. He left us for shit and now my mom's in rehab because of him. My life's literally a living hell because of him. I became an asshole because of him.

I gathered all of the blame in my chest and I'm planning on throwing it all towards him. I'm planning to use it like a bullet and I hope that it shoots right at him straight to the heart. That is if he still has one.

"Hey, son! Wait up!" He shouted from behind.

I paused from leaping, gently closed my eyes and tried to breath in and out and then I turned around. "I'm not your fucking son!" I yelled over at him. "Don't you ever dare to call me son because I don't have a disgusting, spineless, jerk of a father. I don't have a father who's the biggest liar. I don't have a negligent father!" I went on, my chest was rising faster and faster.

"Please, Xav—"

"You never loved my mom and you never loved me!!!" I took a step closer towards him. I truly hate looking at his face and maybe I hate myself too because he got the face that I got.

"That's not true, Xavier. I loved you and your mom and I-I... I was just a fucked up man. I made a huge mistake and I want to—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bullcrap, that's what it is. BULLCRAP! You're a fucked up man and so am I and that's all because of you. My mom's in rehab because of you. Our lives turned upside down because of you"

"Wait, D-Dayanara's in rehab?" My dad looked shocked and confused as if he didn't know what he did to my mom. He stabbed my mom straight in the heart probably a hundred times than I could ever imagine.

"Quit your acting asshole. Mom's a total mess and that's all because of you. You broke her and she broke me but you're still the reason behind every shitty thing that I've been through. You are a disgusting womanizer and I hope you choke to—"

Before I could even utter the last word, dad suddenly yanked me over and hugged me. He began crying and I felt his tears. "I-I'm sorry, Xavier. I'm really really sorry. I wanted to take you and Dayanara back but things are just so complicated."

"Get the fuck off of me." I pushed him away subsequently punching him right in the face.

"AWW. FUCK!" He groaned in pain after I broke his nose. "I deserved that."

"Stay away from me. I don't ever want to see you ever again!" I yelled one last time before eventually turning my back.

I wanted to cry, it seemed to me that the sky's falling on my chest but I don't want the old man to see me break down in tears. He does not deserve to see me let out even a single tear. I started running away knowing that I have to get out of this place as soon as I can. I don't know where I'm going but I just want to be alone.

I feel exhausted and shattered. I am fucking angry with myself, with the world, with my dad. I am fucking cloaked in sorrow and I don't even know how to let it all out. I found myself lost in the middle of the sea once again. I didn't know what to do. My thoughts are filled with so many voices that I can't even fucking think on my own.

I stopped running at one point and I saw this wall covered in graffiti. I thought the wall's something I could unleash my wrath to. I started punching the wall until my knuckles started bleeding. I can't feel the pain. Somehow, I felt numb but I'm still angry. Punching the wall's not enough. I want to become a storm, the kind of storm that would wreck everything in its path. I wanted the world to know how fucking angry I am. I wanted the universe to know how sick I am of this life and I just continued punching the wall until I broke down into tears.

Along with the tears, it began raining. The universe seemed to have heard my dreadful anger and decided to let it rain. As the rain poured, I closed my eyes and looked up into the sky. The rain trickled down on my face and I screamed at the top of my lungs. I don't care if people are staring at me.

"XAVIER!" I heard a very familiar voice screaming from behind and when I turned around, I saw Jordi jumping out of his mom's car and my world stopped spinning for a little bit.

Jordi ran as fast as he could and then the next thing I know; he was already hugging me.

"Jordi!" I whispered and I'm already starting to feel like I'm not alone. His firm hug felt like everything to me and with that, the storm brewing within me started to dissipate.

"Come on, Xavier. Let's go inside the car." Jordi grabbed my hand and we both walked towards his mom's car.

"Are you alright, Xavier?" When we both got inside the car, Jordi's mom looked worried. I felt extremely embarrassed. "Your hands are bleeding, oh my god. Honey, we need to take you to a hospital." Jordi's mom said subsequently stepping on the gas.