The Badboy's Heartbeat [BxB] √

CHAPTER 23

XAVIER ROCKWELL

It's already past ten-thirty in the evening and I know I should already be asleep by now. I usually don't get a good night's rest whenever I'm at home mostly because of all the shitty stuff that's going around this shitty place. Whenever I'm trying to get some really good sleep, it's either Hector and my mom are playing loud music or watching TV with loudest volume possible. Sometimes, when they're not fucking each other's brains out, they're fighting and screaming at each other. Now's probably the time or perhaps to be quite exact, it's the only time for me to have the rest that I wanted. Not only that Hector's not here, my mom's also soundly asleep on the lower bunk.

Seconds and minutes have passed and I just can't put myself to sleep even when I've closed my eyes for a while. I don't even know if I should count a hundred sheep just to get myself to sleep. However, I just keep on seeing Jordi and I'm certainly aware of the fact that I haven't stopped thinking about him. And while I do really like thinking about the guy, I just needed the mercy of drowsiness to come and rescue me.

I ended up recalling what my mom just said to me earlier. Maybe I should really ask Jordi out. I don't have any idea if he's going to say yes but maybe, just maybe, he's going to say yes. At this point, I don't even give a single fuck if he's a guy. I like him, that's the main reason why I'm thoroughly enjoying his company and that I liked kissing him. I don't think I've ever met someone that I genuinely like up until the moment that I woke up in Jordi's bed.

I've dated the girls that I've dated only because of two particular reasons. It's either I was forced by this certain pressure coming from my peers or they're rich and popular. Though this time with Jordi, I'm sure that I like him because I like him. Yes, I was intrigued about kissing him but now that I've spent some time with him, I'm more than enthralled to get to know him and spend even more time with his company.

I know I lied to my mom when I said that I have this girl that I like when the truth was, it's really a boy. I guess I was scared of what she would think of me or of what she would say or of what she would do. That's the only moment that she's sober and I don't really have to fuck that up by telling her I like a boy.

The next morning, I was more than surprised to see my mom cooking for breakfast and I kept on thinking what seemed to have happened to her. Has she eaten something weird? This is too good to be true and while I'm still keeping myself wary of things, I would want to bask in this moment.

"Good morning, sweetie!" My mom greeted, she's sporting the brightest smile and somehow, she looked fresh with this floral dress that she's wearing. I haven't seen her really dressed well and I'm glad she's having a good time. She still got that junkie face which seemed to need a lot of good night sleep and a lengthy sobriety but I'm not here to be a pessimistic jerk. This was the best that she's ever looked ever since.

"Wow, you look really pretty today, mom." I began inching my way to the kitchen stool. I'm still wondering about what went through my mom's head.

"Thank you, dear. I have a job interview later and I'm really looking forward to securing a job this time." She replied and the upfront honesty and such initiative coming from her made me jump out of happiness on the inside. I've been looking forward for her to go out there and start socializing with real people.

"T-that's good. No, it's not good, it's actually great." I can't believe my mom's pushing herself to find a job right now. It's been over three months since she last applied for a job. I guess she's already managed to move on from getting rejection after rejection and I'm so glad for her.

"Yeah, it's great."

"W-what kind of job is that?"

"It's just a cleaning job at a three-star hotel, nothing fancy for me. It's the only job that I could possibly get because, you know, this whole thing but I'm willing to take the first step and start from the bottom."