GAP 2: ROAD TO FOREVER

CHAPTER 92 : THRU HER EYES

Mon's pov

When u asked me to marry u Sam
I was really happy!
I just didn't know what was going through your mind, when u asked it so suddenly...

I mean we always talked about it
U always shared about your plans for us and I silently agreed every time

I already promised to take care of u when we grow old right?

I told u that I'll work hard to support u...

So why are u asking this now Sam?

We haven't even resolved our issues yet!

This isn't like u Sam!

You're the queen of grand gestures and you're never unprepared

So seeing your hasty proposal today made me confused and upset

I knew u meant it... u always did
But still Sam, this isn't right!
None of this is right!
You can't corner me like this!
Especially when u know I had my reasons!

Despite it all Sam, I was still happy
You made me happy because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with u too

Seeing u so sure of me,
Seeing u wanting me and choosing me
Sent butterflies down my stomach and glee in my heart
It's something that I can never be thankful enough for

But at the same time, knowing I wasn't ready... hurt

Knowing that I had to say no when I wanted to say the opposite is darn painful!

Just why?!
Why are u in a rush?
Why can't u just give me more time Sam?!
You should know my heart by now!
What am I doing that is not enough?!

I don't know why u have these questions and doubts
You frustrate me Sam!

You are a dream come true Sam

Adored by thousands of fans

Wanted by almost all men and women alike

I have endless rivals Sam!
Why are u so insecure?!
Isn't that supposed to be my job?
To worry about not being enough for you!

Accomplished, gorgeous, rich, competent and famous that's how people see u and I see that too... everyday

I see that in you, no matter what u wore or how goofy or clingy you became when u were with me

In fact I loved that version of you more because that's a version, only I got to see

I always felt proud knowing you can only truly be yourself when you're with me Sam

I thought u knew that by now

I saw a Sam that loved purely, smiled innocently, someone strong and honest, someone caring, doting and self sacrificing.

Someone who was willing to do anything and everything for me

My lovely, cute and perfect Lady Sam

Who wouldn't want someone like u Sam?

I'm the lucky one

I'm lucky to be chosen by you and loved by you

But Sam this isn't the right time...
It saddens me that I knew that I needed more time

I loved you!
I was sure of you but I am not prepared to marry you yet!

I have a lot more to prove to the world... to myself...