CHAPTER 89 : VOICES

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Author notes:

Before we start this chapter guys I want u to know that I read all ur comments and i understand the frustration i'm sorry about that
Im sorry that u feel its dragging

When I write these chapters i envision it happening in real life

As readers it is easy for us to point out the characters flaws and have solutions to all their problems and find it frustrating when they don't do it

Guys in real life, it is easier to solve other people's problems instead of ur own

We sometimes know that what we feel is wrong but we are clouding our judgment due to the pain

Sometimes we make irrational decisions, that's part of life

Sometimes we can't see the solution in front of us and get stuck in a hole we have dug ourselves

This is how Sam and Mon is at right now

They love each other but they can't make it work

They are scared, hurt, frustrated, tired and traumatized

When people are like that they can't think straight

Sorry if I made u feel like they are going around in circles but in real life
People tend to go back to their lingering issues if it is left unresolved

It is not a mistake on my end but was rather done intentionally

That's all
Hope u enjoy the story
P.S. breathe in and breathe out and don't kill the author

Trigger warning!
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Sam's POV

M: Am i really that easy to leave behind Sam?

S: Mon leaving will be the worst decision of my life!
We both know that!
I don't even know if i'll make it!
It might end up killing me but we are left without a choice!

M: there is always a choice Sam!
We can always choose to let this go!
We can choose to be happy Sam!

S: can we really be happy together Mon?

M: yes Sam we can!
We can do it! Trust me!
Just look at me babe!
We can be happy!
We can always choose to be happy!

S: i want that so much Mon i really do!

(I was crying hysterically because this is so painful!
I felt my heart breaking! It's tearing me apart! I don't know what to do Mon!
Can I really stay beside you?
Can I make u happy Mon?
Am I the right person for you?
I don't know! I just don't know!)

M: then hold my hand Sam!
Hold it and don't let go!

(I was tempted! So tempted to hold your hand Mon!
Being happy with u is all I ever wanted! But why do I feel like i'd be making a mistake if I do?
I don't know what to do!!!
What is the right thing to do?!
If I stay can we still fix this? Or will we go back to hurting each other again?
Will we only make everything worse if we stayed together Mon?

I really don't know anymore!
I'm not confident in making u happy Mon!
We need help!
We need time!
And it breaks my heart knowing I have to leave u behind!

No Sam! Take a leap of fate!
You can make this work!
Mon can and does trust u!
She said u needed to stay so stay!
She is finally choosing u Sam!
She is finally sure of being with u!
So why are u making this hard for yourself?
Just let it go Sam!
You deserve to be happy too!)

S: will u marry me Mon?

(I'll take one last leap of faith Mon!
If you say yes to me,
I promise I won't ever let you go!
Please say yes!
Please don't break me...)

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