CHAPTER 41 : PREPARATIONS

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It's done! It's finally over!
Good job Sam! U did it.
when I was sure I was alone,
I slumped into the comfort
room's floor and smiled... because that's the only thing i could've done at this point.

I pat myself in the back and forced back my tears.
Great job Sam!
I was desperately trying to convince myself that I was ok. That I did a great job...that Mon would understand...

Mon...
When you hear about this.
When u get better and see this,
please know that all I did was for you...

I was prepared to flaunt you to the rest of the world but our circumstance isn't likely.

You're still sick and you're even leaving soon.
We can't announce ourselves like this.

I have to keep the media away from you so you can get better without any intervention Mon.
This isn't the right time to announce our love.

I'm not asking u to understand right away so i'm hoping u could give me a chance to explain.

I'm confident that if you listen to me you would eventually understand...and when u do I hope that it would be enough for you to come back to me.

I know what i've said today may end up hurting u again.
It may further let u think that I don't love you enough, that you're not good enough & and that i'm embarrassed about us.

but Mon I'm so desperate trying to save u.
I'm doing all that I can.
I'm hurting too.
I wish u knew.

My heart was bleeding when I denied you. I really wanted to stab myself for saying all those things but I'll do what I must to protect u!

So please get well soon Mon!
Get well and come back to me!
I promise I'll make it right!
I promise I won't deny u again! This is the last time i'll ever let you go Mon
so please choose to believe in me.
Choose me and love me.
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I have already reorganized the company.

I made sure that they knew what they can and cannot do and reiterated how serious I was about any potential leakages to the media.

I had already dealt with them, but the media has always been like a hawk stalking its prey. We can't ever be complacent.

One wrong move would lead to Mon being dragged into the spotlight again and we can't have that.
We need to be more careful.

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I have been spending every waking moment I had with Mon.

Knowing she was leaving soon and that I couldn't see her anymore once she does, is seriously torture..
I had to remind myself over and over that it must be done.
That this was the only way!
That this wasn't a goodbye...

This was breaking my heart but even then I forced myself to smile.
I can't spend my last moments with Mon crying.
I have to send her off happily.

Mon's parents didn't know about my talk with grandma.

All they knew was that we found a way to give Mon the best care possible and that they had to leave the country because the facilities here were not enough.

I told them what to expect when they came to the US.
I told them everything was already prepared and taken care of.
That they only have to be with Mon and that we'll take care of everything else.

They were ecstatic when I first told them because they knew Mon needed more help but then they have started asking why I wouldn't come with them.

They expected that I would be there for Mon so when I couldn't answer, I knew that I had disappointed them again.

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