Black pearl | Thomas Riddle | Remus Lupin

Entering dreams (TW)

"Olivander , say something" Remus looks at me while my fingers are still following the scars on his face. "You're important for me to , you show me how real love feels. But i think i want to be the one who kills him" i dont want to meet his eyes right now. "I understand , well i dont but i want to. I need to leave tommorow before the full moon starts , lets go upstairs and spent the night togheter before i have to miss you for a couple of days" hé takes my hand in his and leads me upstairs. This room is beter than the one in the tiny house next to the lake. Its a beautifull castle in the middle off the woods all you can see is trees trough the windows while the moon lights the skye.

"Now we can sleep togheter without me falling on the ground every night" Remus looks at me. "Does your father know?" Hé walks towards the bed and lays down. "Hé isnt slow Olivander" Remus laughs. "Hé knows there is something going on but hé hasnt asked. Lets keep it that way" i walk towards him and lay down. I look at the bandadge around my arm , i slowly start to take it off. "What are you doing?" Remus sits up and looks at me. "I want you to make it worse" i look back at him. "What do you mean?" Hé shakes his head. "I want you to make it even worse so when it heals its just one big scar and not the name off you know who" hé shakes his head again. "I cant hurt you , you know that" hé tries to stop me from unwrapping the bandadge any further. "Remus i beg you" hé sees the anger in my eyes , not towards him but towards Thomas. When i see my arm i start to cry , i take the blanket in my mouth and nod my head towards Remus to do it. He slowly lifts his wand "Are you sure?" I nod my head again and the burning starts , tears stream down my face while Remus looks away. He stops and looks at me "enough? Please say its enough" i look down at my arm , you cant see the name anymore its one big wound now. "Yes , thank you" hé puts his wand away and walks out the room.

Blood drips down on the blanket and my arm feels numb. Remus walks back in and takes care off my arm again. "Thank you again Remus , i never want to see his name again. I love you" what did i just say , maybe hé didnt hear it. He defintly did , do i love him ? Maybe i do now i finally realize what Thomas is , a monster. "Do you mean that?" Hé looks at me and then back at my arm i see a grin on his face. "I think i do actually , i didnt even think about it , it just came out off my mouth. I dont know in what way but i do love you" hé ties the last pieces of bandage togheter and looks at me. "Well i love you to" there is the weird feeling in my stomach again , butterflys. We ignore what just happend and hé lays down pulling me on his chest. "You dont know how much i will miss you if you really kill him" hé strokes my hair "Well i go knowing how real love feels if that gives you any comfort" hé pulls me on him and looks at me. "Well it doesnt but it makes me happy that i make you feel this way , and you make me feel the same" hé puts my hair behind my ear.

My hand makes his way down to his pants when hé grabs my wrist "you dont have to do this right now" hé smiles at me. "But i want to , i want to feel close to you right now" his eyes go between mine before leaning back in to kiss me. Sex with Remus gives me comfort , it makes me feel close to him and makes me feel loved. I stroke his buldge wich is growing under my hand. He helps me with his pants since my other arm isnt capable of doing anything. Maybe its wrong to have sex after what happend , it isnt even to escape reality. I crawl back on him when his pants and mine are on the floor. Nothing feels uncomfortable with him knowing i have just as much control as hé has it isnt even about control its about enjoying it togheter. He slowly enters me while looking at me "you feel so good around me" hé groans. I slowly move on top of him while i rest on my arm. He pulls me down and i lay my head next to his while my good arm rests under his head. He looks at me , hé looks vunarble but in a good way. I know he's a strong wizard and an even stronger man but the fact hé isnt scared to be vunarble makes me love him even more.

I hold in my moans by pressing my lips togheter. "Stop Olivander i want to hear you , i dont care if anyone hears" hé presses his lips against mine and i let out my moans into his mouth. Its slow and gently like first time , while his dick completly fills me up and trobs inside off me. He takes my sides in his hands and pulls me down while hé pushes himself as much inside off me as posible before pulling back and doing it again. I moan loudly with every thrust when i feel myself reaching my high. "Fuck Remus" comes out in between moans whil i cum. "I want to hear that again sweetheart" hé says while laying me down on my back. Hé looks at me "what is it?" I ask him "i never want to forget this view" i role my eyes at his comment and hé laughs. He lifts my legs and pushes back inside , his hand finds his way to my clit and hé rubs it while thrusting in to me. I lay my leg down on his shoulder. He places my other leg on his shoulder and moves his hands up to my cheecks so his dick is deeper inside and lays his forehead down on mine. The feeling is overwhelming but i dont want him to stop. I lay my hand down on his back an my nails dig in to his skin wich makes him groan and push in to me harder. "Stop digging your nails in my back because i cant control myself much longer" his eyes are closed for the first time. "I dont want you to" hé opens his eyes and looks at me , his pupils are wide and full of lust. "Dont start what you cant finish especialy now" a smirk appears on his face.

"I want you to show me , even now" i smirk back at him. He makes his way next to the bed and pulls me towards him before turning my on my stomach. He lifts my ass up till im on my knees and lines himself up behind me. "Tell me to stop when you need to , we dont want you to get hurt more then you are" Hé laughs while finishing his sentence. "Trust me i can handle it" i respond "if you say so" hé pushes in to me while holding on to my hips and start to pound in to me fast and hard. I hear him groan behind me while loud moans escape my lips. His hands make a ponytail from my hair and hé wraps it around his hand before pulling my head back , hé puts his head next my ear "you like this doll?" The word doll echos in my head and i panic i turn around to see Thomas standing behind me. I sit up on the bed and start to scream.

"Olivander what is wrong?" I see Remus laying on the bed with wet spots on his shirt from my tears. "Hé was there again" hé sits up "who Thomas?" I nod my head and hé puts his arms around me. "I was dreaming about you and all off a sudden you said something only Thomas has ever said to me , i turned around and hé was there" hé holds me tighter "was hé really there as in hé will remember that he was there?" Is ask Remus who nods his head. I feel gross and want to throw up "what were you dreaming about?" I look down in shame "Olivander you can tell me i wont judge you i promise" i know hé wont but it still feels akward and i feel assaulted but am i? It was a dream hé didnt really touch me but it feels like hé did. "Sex" is the only thing i say. Remus face turns white and hé doesnt let go off me. "Hé really wants you to go insane , thats why hé made you dream something like that. He will make sure you trust no one before completly taking over your toughts" hé made the dream ? He is even sicker then i tought , hé knows about my relationship with Remus otherwise hé woudnt make me have a dream like this. "If his horcrux is destoyed do you think hé will lose some off his powers?" I look at Remus who's face is still white. "Yes but we can only hope he loses the power to haunt you , i will ask my father for some potions to make you sleep better and maybe we can protect you in your sleep. He wants you to be so scared you dont sleep anymore , your mental state will be even worse if you dont sleep"

It scares me how far hé goes to make sure i never forget him. I know hé could be dangerous but this is something else.... hé doesnt want me back anymore and doesnt even try to keep up the preformance off him loving me. All hé wants to do now is hurt me in any way posible and what hé did today is the worst thing that happend. Im not talking about him cutting my arm up im talking about him entering my dream and trying to make me scared off Remus. He knows my feelings for him hé must know hé also knows hé is the only person i have right now and hé knows when i lose Remus i will come back to him begging him to give me my life back. The idea of him sitting in his chair at home concentrating on entering my dreams makes me nauseaus. I know hé wont stop untill im dead or hé is himself... i hope someone else will do it but i know no one will... and no one is strong enough to do it. Im not a strong wizard not even close but because the pact we made what were both breaking right now if hé kills me hé dies and the other way around. He is afraid of me i know hé is why would someone with so much power make the time to ruin the life of a simple halfblood. He knows i want to kill him .... and i need to do it to. I will never live a normal life if hé is alive.

I look to my side to see Remus looking at me. I forgot about him , hé must be scared to , there is nothing hé can do and hé knows hé will lose me one day. "Dont worry Remus , i love you " i push him down and lay my head on top off him "can you just be selfish for once Olivander , i love you to you know i do , but please accept the fact you're scared angry nervous and that you have every right to be , cry scream i dont care just do something" i take a deep breath before answering him "when i do that my life is over , i cant do that Remus. I will not let him win the only way i have some sort of control is by ignoring him completly and acting like it doesnt effect me. But if hé can get in my head so easy there need to be a way for me to enter his" Remus sits up "you can , have you never tried?" No i didnt think about it till now why didnt i think about it sooner hé made the connection with his stupid ideas.
"I know someone we can ask to help you , we will go to him tommorow" Remus stands up and walk towards the bookshelves on the other side off the room and takes a book out off it. "I will read for you , maybe you fall asleep you need the energy tommorow.... i will stay awake so i can wake you up when you have a nightmare" i smile at Remus who sits down and opens the book while pulling me close to him. "Remus , whatever happens always remember that you are the best thing that ever happend to me and never change" hé looks down and kisses my forehead before he starts to read.