Wretched Roses √

Chapter 89-Memories

Freya's POV

*abuse and trauma*

My due date had passed a week ago and I was in a worse mood than usual. My dad had contacted me multiple times over the past months. I'd ended up blocking him but my attempts at getting him to stop contacting me had been futile. He found other ways to do it, once or twice even showing up to my apartment. I threatened him with filing a restraining order if he showed up one more time and that had done the job of keeping him away.

After three months, a couple of phone calls, and a lot of yelling, he finally stopped harassing me. Yet, the stress had really gotten to me and I hadn't been myself. With the added anxiety of the due date getting closer, things were hard. I was afraid Joey had been starting to notice it too.

I was doing the dishes, scrubbing them a bit too aggressively. Realizing I was close to breaking the plate, I put it down, gripping the counter with a sigh. It hadn't been a good day. I'd gone on maternity leave a few days ago. Not working, was shockingly, almost more stressful. It made me feel useless and I hated that I was just sitting at home doing nothing all day. But considering I wasn't feeling the best and I worked as a therapist so being in a bad mood wasn't ideal, maybe it was for the best.

All in all, it wasn't the best of days. I was in a sour mood and had the urge to smash my head into the table 24/7. I was home alone, Zarah who was in town at the moment was watching after Joey, and Leona was at work so it was only me at home.

I checked the time, noting that Leona was on lunch break, so I texted her.

Freya
You're on lunch break, right???

Leona
I am, how is my beautiful wife, feeling better??

Freya
Meh, not really, things are kind of shit, I'm stressedddd :(

My phone started ringing, showing Leona as the caller ID. I picked up, pressing the phone to my ear.

"Want to talk about it?"

"It's the pregnancy and Dad, the usual, you know," I explained.

"I get it. Do you just need a distraction then?"

"Kind of, yeah."

She was quiet for a few moments. "What are you doing right now?"

"I was doing the dishes but then I almost smashed a plate so I stopped. I'm bored out of my mind."

"Why don't you go see one of your friends? Maybe even go to Zarah, hang out with Joey and her."

"I'm not in a good headspace at the moment, I feel like I'd just snap if I tried talking to anybody right. Partially why I asked Zarah to watch over Joey. Fuck, does that make me a shitty Mom?"

I hated that my mental health was affecting my ability to look after my kid. It didn't help the already useless feeling and made me feel like a terrible mom.

"Honey, it doesn't make you a bad mom that you admitted you needed some help with watching over him. It doesn't mean you don't love spending time with him or don't have the ability to take care of him. He adores you, Freya. You always make time to be with him and I think it's mature of you to realize it would be better for him to be with someone else for a couple of hours because you're not doing so well. You're pregnant and you're a human being dealing with a lot of stress, it's normal to be exhausted."