Hospital Days

You're Not Alone

"Mama!" The small girl screamed out when she saw Ava start bawling. Ava just quickly tried to wipe her tears as she nodded. " know Mal no cry," Ava told the toddler who smiled and nodded, but got another nose bleed.

"Mama! Bweed!" The small girl screamed out again making Ava sigh as she pulled out another napkin and applied it to Mal's nose. A few seconds later Alison arrived as she quickly ran over to Ava and hugged her.

"I can't believe this is happening!" Ava cried out as she broke down sobbing all over Alison who just nodded. "I know Ava. Life is just so cruel sometimes. Ava what is that," Alison told Ava when she spotted the napkin covered in Mal's blood from her nosebleed.

Ava just held up the napkin as she looked at Alison. "Oh are you looking at this. Yeah she had another nose bleed. God how could I be so stupid! She's been having so many nosebleeds lately, lots of bruises, and she wasn't really gaining any weight, and she was pretty pale, but I figured that was normal! I suck at parenting! How did I not see the warning signs? They were literally right in front of me!" Ava screamed out as she was blaming herself again.

Alison just sighed as she hated that Ava kept blaming herself. "Ava it's not your fault. You're right all of those things are pretty normal when talking about a toddler. Trust me I'm a mom and I don't think I would see anything wrong with those things either. The only thing I would have been worried about is the weight loss, but other than that nose bleeds are pretty normal. And children are always falling down and getting hurt. And Ava, Mal has always been pale. And it's harder with toddlers because they are too young to tell us what's wrong," Alison rambled out trying to make Ava stop blaming herself.

Ava just sighed. "But still! How did I not notice it! I spend every day with her! I should have noticed something was off!" Ava screamed out. "Ava it's okay," Alisom began to say, but Ava just lost it after that.

"HOW! HOW IS ANY OF THIS OKAY! MY TWO YEAR OLD WAS JUST DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER! A DEADLY DISEASE! I just don't know what to do anymore! She's going to suffer and I can't stop it!" Ava screamed out making Alison sigh as she knew Ava was right, but she still wanted to make her feel better.

"Ava I know this is hard," Alison began to say, but Ava wasn't having it. Alison had two healthy kids right now. She had no clue what this felt like.

"HOW! YOU'RE LUCKY! YOUR CHILDREN ARE PERFECT AND HEALTHY! YOU DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH THIS! I AM GOING TO HAVE TO WATCH HER SUFFER AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO HELP HER! HOW IS ANY OF THAT OKAY!" Ava screamed out leaving Alison speechless as she knew Ava was right.

"Mama!" The small two year old screamed out as she knew her mama was upset, but she didn't understand why. Ava just groaned as she had completely forgotten Mal was there. "Sh**! Yeah Mal," Ava called out to the toddler.

"Wa you taw bow?" Mal asked Ava who just sighed as she didn't want to tell Mal what was going on. "Nothing! Listen to Baby Shark!" Ava told the toddler, making her smile. "Yay! Baby Sawk!" Mal screamed out as she started singing Baby Shark again.

Making Ava sigh in relief. While Alison watched the toddler in sadness. "Ava I may not understand what it's like to be a parent to a child who has cancer, but Ava I care about Mal. I see her everyday as well and she has play dates with my girls. Ava trust me you're not the only one that's going to have to watch her suffer, but Ava she needs to have a fighting chance! Don't give up! She needs you now more than ever!" Alison told Ava trying to give her a pep talk to convince her to not give up.

Ava just nodded as she looked at Alison. "I know but this is just so hard! I don't want to see her suffer! I don't want her to feel like she's not a normal kid! I don't want her to die at the age of two! She's a baby right now! She doesn't deserve this!" Ava cried out making Alison nod as she hugged Ava again.