Lekha 36

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I remembered what Rudra had said about teaching me to ride, so I avoided him. I purposefully tried to help anyone I could see in need of help. I was shooed away many a times but I was persistent. When maasa told me strictly to leave the kitchen as I was being a hindrance rather than a help, I had nowhere else to go. Pouting and looking hurt didn't help too as I was told gently that after the yajana I was officially 'the bride' and I could gain all the knowledge about cooking after marriage.

"Why are you in the kitchen jiji don't you have your riding lessons with bhaisa?" asked Lajo, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

If I hadn't known her to be a sweet and caring person, I might have been tempted to shriek at her for being such a busybody. Her nosy attitude was getting on my nerves. I could understand her enthusiasm and her search for a fairy tale in my marriage, but it was getting difficult for me to answer her questions.

"I am just going to my room to rest. I shouldn't put too much strain on my ankle so soon" I said in order to get away from her.

"I can massage your ankle for you" she offered now looking concerned.

"No ... no. I just need to put it up a bit. You go ahead with whatever you were doing" I said quickly.

She looked at my ankle with concern but I quickly turned away towards my room before she could say anything further.

I stayed in my room till Vasundhara came to inquire about my ankle.

"I heard your ankle is giving you trouble. I had gone to meet the priest's wife to give her some sweets so was not able to come earlier" said Vasundhara looking concerned.

"No it's nothing much. I must have cramped it while sitting for so long in the puja" I said trying to lessen her worry. I couldn't tell her the truth. "I am fine now"

"You should not ride for a few days. It's just freshly healed" she suggested.

"Hmm..." I murmured.

"What happened Lekha? You seem upset. Did bhaisa say something?" she persisted.

"No. I just wanted some alone time to think over everything" I said.

"You are having pre-wedding nerves" she said thoughtfully.

"Must be that" I said vaguely.

"You can always talk to me" she offered looking under my bent head.

How could I tell her that I couldn't and wouldn't. My feeling were confusing at best and being near Rudra hurt me.

Sensing my unwillingness to talk, Vasundhara finally left me alone.

I felt bored and lonely sitting alone in my room and wished to call her back the moment she left, but I wasn't in a chatty mood. I knew I was acting moody and maybe hurt her in the process. I got up to ask maasa to give me some embroidery to do to pass time.

"I heard that your ankle was troubling you again"

I saw Rudra standing at my door with a neutral face but his tone was enough to convince me that he had caught up to my little lie.

"I am fine now" I said hesitatingly.

"So were you coming down for your lesson" he said looking towards my feet indicating that I couldn't fib any more as I stood steady on my two feet right in front of him.

"I am going to maasa to get some of the embroidery work she wanted to get done" I said resolutely trying to get past him.

"Are you avoiding the lessons because they are with me" he said in a steel voice stepping inside my room, as I took a few steps back feeling a bit nervous.

"No" my voice came out like a squeak. I cleared my throat suddenly aware that he could sense the tension build inside me. I closed my eyes to collect my thoughts.

"I am not avoiding you. I will come down with you right now" I said in a steady voice, as I decided to not let the matter get out of hand despite my reservation.

He looked amused at the change of plan but didn't say anything further to provoke me as I expected. I followed him downstairs and was met by Lajo , Vasundhara and maasa , who were all sitting in the veranda. The first two gawked at me and Rudra while maasa looked as if she was trying to hide a smile. I avoided looking at anyone after the first glance as I followed Rudra outside.

It seemed that Rudra had been waiting for me to come down for my lessons with the horses all saddled up but had come to fetch me when I failed to show up. I saw Suraj at a distance talking to someone but the moment he saw me he came towards us smiling a greeting.

"How is your ankle feeling now? You should have given it a day's rest more if it hurt" he asked concerned unaware of Rudra going stiff. I could feel the anger radiating from him, as I was aware of what he might be thinking.

"It's better now. It must have started paining because I sat in the puja in one position for too long" I said smiling at him, trying to smooth out the situation.

"You take care and do inform me if you need help" said Suraj unable to see Rudra's reaction as his back was towards Rudra, but I could see his jaw clenching at the offer.

"I will definitely let you know if I need help" I said giving Suraj a full blown smile as if he was my only savior.

I still had not forgiven Rudra for the switch in lessons, so kept on talking to Suraj with a huge smile on my face picking up topics in general.

"I don't have time to waste in idle chit chat. Let's go" he said in a cold authoritative voice. Suraj turned around to see him as if remembering him just then. He left without saying anything but not before grinning back at me.

"I never asked you to waste your time with me. It was you who..." I started but stopped short as he looked at me with a hardened stare.

It wasn't that I was scared of him but suddenly I didn't want to fight with him. Arguing the same point again and again led to no confessions that I wanted to hear instead all I felt was pain. I had previously also left things for my destiny which brought me here, to decide. If it had been my century I might have tried to bring about a change but the game the fate was playing with me led me to wonder if my struggling against things might not lead to adverse things.

Secondly if I was bound by fate to Rudra then it was almost like digging a pit for oneself by keeping the misunderstanding going for too long. Stretching it for too long might just make it irrevocable. It didn't mean that I would start playing happy family with him but the idea of making him jealous was dropped.

I quietly followed him where a stable hand stood with Pari and Pawan a beautiful black horse belonging to Rudra. I could feel as if his hand imprints had been imprinted at all the places he touched me while helping me sit up on the horse. The extra awareness made my mind all fuzzy, that I didn't hear what Rudra spoke.

"Lekha ..?" he questioned.

"Hmm... yes. I was thinking of something else" I said softly unable to meet his eyes.

"Shall we start" I heard him ask. I simply nodded my head.


Enjoy ... hope to have more of Rudra and Lekha soon :)

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