Lekha 34

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I sat all tensed trying to figure out what was going on in Rudra's mind. I looked at him through my peripheral vision and saw him sitting stiffly on the horse looking straight ahead. We soon reached a grove of ber trees. I looked straight ahead even when we had stopped, trying to ignore him.

It wasn't much of a grove by the usual standards but considering the sparse vegetation and the desert all around it was beautiful. I could hear splashing of water in a distance but did not want to show any curiosity as I was still annoyed.

He held my waist and lifted me down as if I was a child when I didn't take his offered hand to get down. I glared at him and then turned my back towards him unwilling to talk to him. He gently led me to the shadier and much cooler part of the grove after tying the horses to another shady tree.

"So you want to marry Suraj?" said Rudra in a cold steely voice.

My eyes went wide with surprise as I unwillingly turned around. I could make no sense out of what he said but kept quite.

"Don't be surprised that I know about it. I can see that you like him a lot and are always seeking his company"

"He is teaching me how to ride. What do you want him or me to do? Use a 'remote control' to control the horse" I said angrily glaring at him. I had enough of his mood swings and could not take it anymore.

He gaped at me, making me realize that again I had used the word 'remote control' in English. I had the tendency to revert back to the modern language when angered. Even the Rajasthani dialect I tried to adopt went for a toss.

"How do you suppose he can teach me to ride a horse if he does not accompany me?" I tried to explain to him calmly even though my anger had not subsided. It was no use arguing with a person who didn't understand what one said. I always considered myself a reasonable person who preferred to debate using reasonable arguments rather than holding shouting matches, no matter how much I wanted to.

"You never talk to me like that. I am your fiance." He tried to enforce that point again about us being engaged. This got my hackles up.

"Suraj sa is a sweet person and is never rude to me" I said leaving the part where I wanted to add 'unlike you'.

I knew where this conversation was leading to but I was not in a mood to give direct answers. If he had been a better person I might have been straight forward with him but call it my spitefulness or revenge that I wanted him to suffer the way I did.

"You can't marry him no matter how sweet he is" ordered Rudra.

"You promised me that..."I tried protested.

"No ... I said no" he growled at me, raising his palm up to silence me. I got a bit scared at his livid tone but held my ground, not willing to let him take advantage of my fears.

He saw my eyes narrow with mutiny so lowered his voice a little bit trying to sound reasonable.

"I did tell you that you could choose a person you like within this month to get married to, but I have already declared about our engagement to all. It would create a big scandal if I take back my words. Less for me and more for you" he pronounced each word slowly as if trying to pacify a child throwing tantrum.

"I didn't create this problem then why should I suffer. If it had been you in love then..." I rambled on wanting him to feel guilty, whichever way I could. I just didn't want to end the issue. I was still feeling dissatisfied by the fact that I had fallen in love with him so easily and he didn't even care.

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