ANIDITA : A Life For Revolution

CHAPTER 12 : Part 3

Anirudh's p.o.v

She didn't mean it, did she? It's just a way to shut me up, may be. She knows it will work out. But I'm not going to make it that simple for her. I've always wanted her to break her comfort zone and fly high. I've helped her break every barrier and overcome every obstacle on her way. Why is she holding back when it is me? Rather, it should have been easy for her, right? But no, she's being ever so persistent and this is killing me. Why? I don't know! And now when she's turning and walking away from me, all I want to do is rush after her. Because my mind is at sixes and sevens and I need clarification! I don't even know why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. Hell, I don't even know what all emotions I'm having!

"Bondita!" I shouted after her.

She effortlessly ignored me and continued walking. Did she just ignore me?! My Bondita would have never done that!

"Bondita!!!" I stamped after her.

"Bondita mein tumse baat kar raha hoon! Sunayi nahi de raha tumhe?"

"Bondita"

I followed her all the way towards her room. She was about to close the door when I pushed it back.

"Bondita suno, mujhe baat karna hai tumse"

"Mujhe jo kehna tha meine kah diya Birristira babu! Ap yahan se jayiye" she tried closing it again and I pushed it immediately.

"Tumhe sunna hoga Bondita! Tumhe andaza bhi hai tum kya bole ja rahi thi wahan?"

"Apko yaad bhi hai ap kya kya bole ja rahe hai ek hafte se?" she challenged back, forcing out the door.

"Yeh keisi zidd hai Bondita?" I pushed it back.

"Jo kuch bhi seekha hai... Apse seekha hai... Aur yeh shart ke bina koyi shaadi nahi hogi" she replied right in the eye.

I pushed the door back and slammed her against the cupboard. Everything happened so fast that she didn't know what was going on or how to react.

"Mein doosri shaadi nahi karunga, suna tumne?! Nahi kar sakta mein!"

"Mein bhi nahi kar sakti" she whispered, tears running out of her eyes.

"Bondita..." I cupped her cheek "Tum bohot choti ho... Poori zindagi baki hai tumhare liye... Aise... Aise apne apko iss rishte se keid karke rakhne ki bhul mat karo... Apni zindagi, apni marzi se jiyo"

"Yahi hai meri marzi Pati babu... Mein apke sath, apne parivar ke sath jeena chahti hoon... Ap sabse door nahi..."

"Mein janta hoon... Bohot pyar karte hai tum yahan sab se... Bohot dukh hoga tumhe lekin Bondita yaad hai na? Iss ghar ke pehle dinon mein tumhe apni Maa ki bohot yaad aati thi... Par dheere dheere sab thik hogaye... Bilkul weise, tum iss dard se bhi guzar paogi Bondita..."

She scoffed.

"Apne yeh dekh liya ki mein uss dard se guzara... Lekin yeh samajh nahi payi ki keise yeh sab kar payi mein..."

I frowned at that. What does she mean?

"Ap the... Mujhe Maa ki zaroorat thi toh meri Maa ban gaye... Mujhe Baba ki zaroorat tha toh Baba bhi ban gaye... Mere Rakshak, Shikshak, sab kuch ban gaye... KSJ... Batuk... Somu dada... Sasur Ji... Sab log... Sab log the mere liye"

She released my hand from her cheek and held on it tightly.

"Pati babu... Pati babu ap mere zameen hai... Aur ap chahte hai ki mein apne zameen ko khokar, uske sahyog ke bina ud jaun... Apne zameen khokar nahi udna mujhe Pati babu... Apke bina Bondita kitna bhi kyun na ud jaun mein... Kuch nahi payegi woh... Khud ko hi kho degi... Marr bhi kyun na jaun-"