ANIDITA : A Life For Revolution

CHAPTER 4 : Part 6

Bondita's p.o.v

I was about to lay on bed when I heard the knock on the door. It's past ten and I wonder who it would be. That's when I remembered I have asked Laya to bring a jug of water before. Strolling towards the door, I opened it.

"Dedo Laya" I paused when I saw two black orbs staring at me questioningly.

"Ap?" I asked blankly.

"Tum mujhse baat karne nahi aaoge toh kya mein bhi nahi aa saktha Bondita?" he enquired with a playful smirk.

"Nahi... Aisi koyi baat nahi hai. Mujhe laga apko aaram karne ki zaroorat hai, bohot thak gaya tha na kal ki tayyariyon mein... Meine socha subah ko aakar baat karti hoon" I replied tersely.

"Achi koshish thi lekin kaam nahi aayi" he grinned at me.

"Kya koshish?"

"Choot bolne ki" he crossed his arms.

"Mein koyi choot nahi bol rahi hoon" I snapped.

"Shotti?" he snapped back.

"Shotti!" I pinched my throat.

He gave me a pointed look and I shrugged at him.

"Agar aisa hai toh tumne galat samjhi Bondita... Mujhe aaram ki zaroorat nahi tha, mujhe bas tumhari aawaz sunna tha Bondita, na jaane kal ke baad kab..." he sighed and shook his head.

These words were affecting me very badly. They didn't hold the meaning I wanted them to hold, and that was nothing less than torture for me. My restlessness grew wild and I stuttered to reply to him.

"Barrister babu ham... ham kal subah baat karein? Bohot... neend aa rahi hai mujhe" I stopped abruptly, struggling to keep eye contact with him.

He scoffed in shock and I turned to close the door when he spoke up.

"Baaki sabse baat ki, sabko taufe di lekin mujhe... mere liye kuch bhi nahi hai kya Bondita? Kam se kam kuch bol toh lo" I can hear the pleading in his voice.

My eyes welled up at that. I turned and replied.

"Hai na... Andar aayiye" I invited him inside and turned to take my gifts for him.

"Yeh mere Shikshak babu keliye... Mujhe sikhaane keliye" I handed him a gift box wrapped with blue gift wrapper.

He took it up from my hand, not taking his eyes off mine even for a second while I kept my gaze to the ground.

"Yeh mere Rakshak babu keliye, hamesha meri raksha jo karte hai" I fake chuckled and handed him a box wrapped with red gift wrapper.

He silently took that up too, still searching in my eyes.

"Yeh Barrister babu keliye, mujhe udne ki hosla dene keliye" That was a box wrapped with green gift wrapper.

He took that up too, never blinking for even once. I find myself heating up by his stare and the awkward silence. His muted state forced me to look up and he was still staring at me, eyes carrying all those emotions that make me go week on my knees. I suddenly looked down, swallowing the last amount of moisture in my dried up throat. After what felt like ages, he spoke up.

"Aur mere liye?" his voice lighter than air.

"Yeh sab apke liye hi toh hai" I gave a nervous smile, looking up to his orbs.

He shook his head.

"Shikshak babu..." he placed the blue one on the table beside us "Rakshak babu..." he placed the red one "Barrister babu" the last one too joined the group.

He stuck out his hands at me, eyes moist with tears.

"Mere liye kya Bondita?"

I blinked at him in confusion. What is his game now?

He sighed and took a step closer. I immediately looked down in panic and struggled to not move back.

"Apne Pati babu keliye kuch bhi nahi?"

My breath hitched my throat at the word, which now seemed alien to me. I turned around to avoid him catching the tears flowing down my cheeks.

"Kya matlab hai apka? Ap hi toh hai..." I trailed off.

"Bas karo Bondita!" he yelled and I jumped in shock.

"Bas karo mujhe aise pareshan karna, mujhe aise chot pahunchana... Mujhse yeh sab aur bardash nahi hoga Bondita... Please!!!" Even though I can't see him, I know he's crying behind me.

I covered my mouth with my hand to stop my sobs and closed my eyes tight.

"Mein kuch bol raha hoon tumse, mujhe jawab do" he commanded.

I calmed myself down and replied quickly.

"Mein nahi janti ap kya kahna chahta hai. Meine aise kuch bhi nahi kiya hai jisse apko dhes pahunche... jisse apko dard ho"

He pulled me around by my shoulders forcefully while I squealed in sudden shock. His eyes are red with tears, anger and pain that were storming inside them.

"Yahi baat mere ankhon mein dekhar bolo tum"

I just stared at them and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Kya hua? Bolti band kyun hogayi? Bolo!"

I broke down in front of him, falling to my knees and cupping my face to support myself. Why does everything have to be so hard for me? Why did he even come upstairs to meet me? Wasn't I going to have a peaceful sleep?

"Bondita..." he knelt down with me "Bas ek baar... ek baar mujhe Birristira babu ya phir Pati babu kehkar bulao... Mein teen saal aise khut khut ke nahi jee sakta Bondita... Mein tumhare Pati babu bankar... tumhare Birristira babu bankar in teen salon ko tumhare bina bitaunga lekin please... please Bondita bas karo mujhe dard dena... Itna dard bardash nahi hota mujhse... Toot jaunga mein, pagal ho jaunga"

I looked at him, breathing heavily. He's in pain... All because of me. No matter how much I try but I always end up hurting him in one way or the other. What should I do now?

I lunged at him and hugged him tightly, squeezing the air out of him. He froze all of a sudden, his breathing alarmingly louder. Have I done anything wrong? Was it stupid to do that? Hey Dugga Maa! What have I done?! I was about to pull back when I felt his hand behind me and that's all I wanted to let myself relax into him. All those worries... miseries... sorrows and much more, I poured it onto him. After what felt like ages, I found myself relaxing for the first ever time... The heavenly feeling basking me in its blissful ecstasy. For some minutes, I forgot where we were... what we were and how we were... It's just for today... Just for this single day... After London, it's never going to the same... ever! I wanted this moment to last forever - though I know it has to end very shortly.