ANIDITA : A Life For Revolution

CHAPTER 4 : RESOLVING IT

PART 1

Bondita's p.o.v

My whole night went on me trying to figure out how to behave from now on. After knowing the facts, I don't think I can ever let myself act the way I used to do before – not when I know I don't belong here exactly well. On top of that, my heart was busy screaming at me for not tending to Pati... Barrister babu's injured hand. I still remember how hard it was for me to ignore his injured hand or his injured expression. I hate to see him like that but I just don't know why I felt so angry with him.

Shaking away these thoughts, I took a deep breath before knocking on the study door. I've to ask him. This is my last chance before taking any decision. His head turned up and I can see how his eyes went wide seeing me there. He wasn't expecting... I know. I struggled to not let myself melt away at the light tug of his lips. No Bondita! He's not yours.

"Kya mein andar aa sakthi hoon?" I enquired grimly.

The tone of my voice suddenly pulled his lips down and my heart cried inside my chest.

"Poochne ki kya zaroorat hai Bondita? Aao na" he said disappointed.

As soon as I took a step forward, I noticed the state of the room. Everything was scattered around – shattered, broken and out of place. Of course! Anirudh Roy Chowdhary was angry and unfortunately, Bondita Roy Chowdhary wasn't there for him to take out his temper and so, these vases and books and furniture had to endure with him. I felt pity for them though I knew they couldn't feel anything like I do. By his appearance, I can say he has just woken up – his eyes still red and hair a complete mess. He was still in his journey clothes.

I cleared my throat before speaking seriously.

"Ek madat chahiye thi apse"

"Bolo Bondita..." he said with a fake smile.

"Mein Devipur jaana chahti hoon, maa se milne. Apse ho paye toh mere liye Gaadi aur chalak ka intzaam kariyega... Warna mein KSJ se-"

"Mein hoon na Bondita. Mein lekar jaunga tumhe"

"Nahi!" I squeaked with panic and cleared my throat once again, gaining my calming composure back.

"Mera matlab hai apko mere liye aur sahne ki koyi zaroorat nahi hai. Jitna ap mere liye kar chuke hai utna hi kaafi hai... Mein khud nahi janti un sab ka hisaab mein keise lautaun lekin-"

"Bondita!" he shouted and I know I instigated him. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Ehsaan samajhthi ho tum un sab ko? Tumhe kya lagta hai? Meine tumhare liye jo kuch bhi kiya hai woh sirf... woh sirf majboori mein aakar kiya tha?"

He's hurt. May be I spoke too much. I shouldn't have said that.

I can see the scar in his knuckles are still fresh. I knew it! I knew he wouldn't tend to it. Hell, I know he won't even remember about it anymore.

"Bondita uss raat tumhe kuch bhi-"

"Ap agar mujhe lekar jaana chahta hai toh mujhe koyi shikayat nahi hai" I immediately interrupted.

He calmed down almost quickly as judging by his voice so I used that as my cue to interrupt him and stop him from talking about it. For a reason I can't quite place, I didn't wanted to hear his side of the story yet. Probably because I was too shocked by the fact that he kept a secret - so dark and shady - from me. He hid himself from me all these while when I thought nobody in the world knew him better than me. And I loathed it.