ANIDITA : A Life For Revolution

CHAPTER 3 : Part 7

Bondita's p.o.v

It kept on ringing in my ears. I tried blocking it out by closing my ears, but it only seemed to strengthen.

"Baal vidhwa thi tum... Tumhara pati mar gaya tha mandap pe... Sati karne lekar ja rahi thi tumhe"

I closed my eyes tight. No! This is not true. It's all just a nightmare.

"Anirudh agar kisika tha... toh sirf mera tha. Tum sirf aur sirf zimmedari ho uski. Woh pyaar mujhse karta tha... Bachpan se hi. Aur koyi bhi ladki uski zindagi mein nahi hogi"

I don't want to live... I don't deserve to live. All these years, he just-

Hey Dugga Maa! Please make this ground swallow me up. I can't-

I rushed inside the haveli, covering my mouth in a desperate attempt to stop my sobs. Rushing past a horrified KSJ, I heard him screaming something behind me. I didn't hear. I couldn't hear. Her words kept on repeating itself inside my head and all I heard was her and only her.

"Kyunki tumne uss se uska pyaar cheena tha... Mujhse apna pyaar cheena tha..."

Getting inside my room... his room, I locked the door behind me and slammed myself against the wall beside the cupboard. I cried my heart out, letting the intolerable pain washing over me like a wildfire.

It was all a lie... I didn't belong here... He was never mine...

I kept on chanting these while balling my eyes out. After what felt like a lifetime, I heard myself calming down physically while the turmoil inside just compensated for the former.

Why Dugga Maa? Why was it me? Why is it always me? Have I done anything until this second to offend you in anyway? What did I exactly do for you to give me such a life? I've gone through a lot in my lifetime but I've never doubted you or your plans for me at least once. I've never complained but have only asked your blessings and strength to overcome and fight through them. But this... Didn't you know your Bondita wouldn't be able to take it? Haven't I thanked you every morning for giving me a family and a husband as such? Didn't my prayers have any effect on you? Did I fail to convince you how much they meant for me? ... How much he meant for me?

How didn't I see this before? Wasn't everything evident? Wasn't everything right in front of my eyes? Of course! How could have I, when he was busy painting my life with colours. But can I blame on him completely? Was it all totally his fault? Why didn't I realize he was filling my life with bright and beautiful colours only to cover up the dark and cloudy canvas beneath them?

And what all I thought of myself to be! The badi bahu of Roy Chowdharys... The choti malkin... The wife of Anirudh Roy Chowdhury... If only I knew these were all part of his package of favour for a helpless little girl who couldn't save herself from the wretches of this barbarous and blood-thirsty society! How didn't I see that I was nothing more than a simple girl Anirudh Roy Chowdhury had to rescue when his righteousness overpowered his mind? How didn't I see I meant nothing to him rather a burden he had to carry on for his entire lifetime? How come I didn't know I was just a mere responsibility to him – just how the other girls or people he had rescued in his lifetime were? How foolish of me to think I was someone special? How foolish of me to think he was actually meant for me and only me? How foolish of me to think he would actually love me?

I took some deep breaths before letting out a loud and noisy sigh.

Believe it or not Bondita but this is the truth of your life – the ghostly past your saviour hid from you. Why??? I don't know. But that was a mistake from his part, one I will never ever forgive him for. And now since you know it, it's time you change yourself and move on in your life.

I can't take a decision now, not until I find out the whole truth.

"Bondita..." I jumped at the voice, my heart racing a marathon at the realization.

Anirudh's p.o.v

The temper I had for missing the train vanished the moment I set foot on the haveli steps. The eerie and quiet atmosphere around greeted me and I knew something was wrong. As soon as I passed the doorframe, I saw the whole family standing unreally silent. A soon as they found another presence, their heads shot up to find me and everyone's eyes filled with relief and guilt. With that, I knew nothing good is coming my way and to my horror, I noticed Bondita was nowhere to be seen. Is she fine? Why isn't she here with the others? What had happened when I was some twelve hours away from her?

"Anirudh..." Kaka was the first to break the silence, his voice cracking in between.

"Acha hua tum aa gaya. Tumhare sivaay koyi bahu ko nahi samjha saktha"

"Kya hua Bondita ko?" I heard myself pleading him to say.

"Arre iss se bura hona kya hai? Uss ladki ki itni himmat ki woh hamari bahu ko sab sach bata diya?!" Baba shouted to no one in particular.

"Kaun ladki aur kya sachayi? Yeh kya bol rahe hai ap log?" I asked restlessly.

"Dada woh... Jab mein aur baudi wapas aa rahe the, tab hamein haveli ke bahar Sudamini se milna pada. Phir..." he hesitated.

"Bolo Batuk" My voice was coldly quiet.

What has she done now? If anything happened to my Bondita, I swear I won't leave her alive this time!

"Saudamini ne baudi ko sab kuch bata diya... Uss raat ka jis raat apki aur baudi ki shaadi huyi thi"

My breath hitched in my throat when I heard what he said. No! This can't be happening. She doesn't know. She shouldn't know.

I stormed past Batuk before he could say anything more. I know where she would be. On my way, I swore to myself that I would make that Sudamini pay for her deed. This wasn't something that Bondita should have known from her. Hell, no one can explain to her the incidents of the day better than me. No damn one! As expected, the door was locked from inside when I approached the room. I placed my hand on the door and called out as gentle as possible.

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Seriously you all are so so so so so so sweet.

I couldn't post yesterday because MS had some god damn practical sessions in school and she had to complete her record or otherwise, would have been the ''outstanding student'' for the day😜 Lol😂 

I'm dedicating this chapter to my two Jaanus who immediately contacted me to know whether I was fine❤️

And also, don't worry if you don't see me posting regularly because my pre-boards are gonna start soon and I may be busy with them . I'll try to come in between. Keep supporting and showering love🥰

Ily all❤️