I Want What I Can't Have

Hospital Visit

I rushed to the Capitol hospital. By now Finnick would've definitely awoken and seen my letter. I needed to see my love and he needed to know that I was still alive. I sprinted through the entrance and got his room number and ran there. As I walked in, I saw him standing there a gun towards his head at his own hand. A wave of horror overcame me as I rushed forwards and knocked it from his grasp. I wrapped my arms around him tightly as he did me.

"What were you thinking?" I yelled, as we broke apart, "you were going to leave me!"

"I thought you were dead," he sobbed, "your letter..."

"I'm sorry Finn," I whispered, "but I wasn't sure if I'd make it."

"I can't live without you," he said, his voice breaking, "I can't do it."

"And you never will," I murmured, "the rebels have won and Snow is going to have a trial."

"So we are free?" Finnick asked.

"Yes my darling, we are free," I said, kissing him softly.

***
I spent hours with him that night. We talked and laughed and cried together. He is my everything and always will be. I learnt that Katniss was being treated in the opposite room for all of her burns and that Peeta next door asleep. I made a mental note to visit him too.

"I almost strangled Haymitch after I read that letter," Finnick murmured.

"It wasn't his fault," I replied.

"I know," he sighed, "but the thought of you... I can't even think it."

"It felt like I was in Romeo and Juliet," I smiled softly.

"Well you are my Juliet," he replied.

"Sweetheart I'll never leave you again," I whispered.

"Is that is a promise?" he asked.

"That is a promise," I replied.

"Well isn't that just peaches and cream," Johanna laughed from the doorway.

"How are you always here to ruin a cute moment?" Finn chuckled.

"What can I say, suppose it's just my impeccable timing," she grinned.

"If you say so," I smirked.

"I do say so," Johanna replied, "so what are we going to do with our miserable lives now?"

"It's not over yet," I replied, "we still have to be at the meeting."

"Shit I forgot about that," she sighed, "can't we just skip."

"This isn't school!" Finnick laughed.

"Thank god for that," she rolled her eyes, "I hated school."

"That's why you're so stupid!" I grinned.

"Hey I didn't say I did badly in school," she defended, "I may have hated that stupid place but at least I learnt long division."

"What has long division ever done for you?" Finnick scoffed.

"Given me a headache," she smiled.

I murmured, "I don't want to go back to 8."

"I know you don't," Finnick replied.

"I don't want to go to 7 either," Johanna agreed.

"We'll go to 4," Finn said.

"Are you sure you want to?" I asked.

"Nothing would make me happier," he grinned, kissing the top of my nose.

"Ewww," Johanna said, scrunching up her face.

***
Once Finnick and Jo had fallen asleep, I slipped out of the bed and walked to the room next door. I wanted to talk to Peeta. I needed to know if he was okay. I approached the door and knocked slowly.

"Come in."

I quietly walked in and took the empty chair beside Peeta's bed. He was awake, his face looked clean and more refreshed since the last time I'd seen him. But he also looked worried and fearful.

"How are you doing?" I murmured.

"I'm okay," he replied, "how are you?"

"I'm fine," I whispered, "have you seen Katniss?"

"No, they won't let me," he sighed.

"Is it because of the whole..." I trailed off.

"Sometimes it's good and I'm fine, but sometimes it's bad and I'm not," he murmured, "I have little moments where I can be just taken out of this world and turned into a mutt again. It's horrible."

"You've always got us Peeta, don't ever forget that," I said.

"I hope I never will," he sighed, "do you think Katniss loves me?"

"With the kiss she gave you, if that's not love I don't know what is," I said.

***
I quickly slipped back to my own room and into bed beside Finnick, who I thought was asleep.

"Where'd you go," I heard him whispered.

I gasped, his voice making me jump.

"Sorry," he chuckled.

"I went to see Peeta," I murmured, "I wanted to make sure he was okay."

"And is he?" he asked.

"He's getting there I think," I shrugged, "but they won't let him see Katniss because they're afraid he might go all Capitol mutt. But if you ask me that's they're excuse. I don't think they want anyone to see Katniss."

"Why?" he whispered.

"Because she's won," I replied, "she won this war for us, she was the mockingjay and now she is our hero."

"Who leads now?" he asked, "Snow's execution is soon, so who rules now?"

"The people will say Katniss, but if anyone knows anything about that girl she would hate to rule. She'll say no and then the people will turn to Coin because she 'lead' the rebellion and gave the people they're mockingjay. But I never trusted that woman, she's a power hungry bitch and she'll be the next Snow if we're not careful," I said.

"Do you think Katniss knows that?" he muttered.

"I think she does," I replied, "and she will do something about it, what, I don't know, but she will do something. They didn't choose her as the mockingjay for nothing."

"When we go to District 4, what do we do?" he said.

"We try and rebuild a life for ourselves," I breathed, "let's face it, Snow mentally damaged each and every one of us, but that's not going to bring us down is it? Then he has really won. We have to go back and start a life."

"Will you live with me Flaire?" Finnick whispered, his breath tickling my neck.

"I thought you'd never ask," I grinned, pushing my lips onto his.

***
Sorry for the slow updates
Thank you so much for reading ❤️❤️