16 and...

3

Lauren

After showering me and Addie back got comfortable in bed. I flipped the Channel to nick jr to keep baby girl occupied and then I grabbed my phone.

My appetite disappeared after what my mom accused me of, I know I messed up but I just wanted her to trust me. Getting pregnant wasn't an accident but it wasn't on purpose, well it wasn't on purpose on my hand.

Ajayy and I were caught in the moment and he kept saying how much he wanted me to have his baby so we didn't use protection just once, or maybe three times.

Ajayy and his family were so happy but my relatives were on a completely different page. My mother cried for months and she nearly beat the life out of me on two occasions.

All my aunts and uncles looked down on her for letting that happen. They eventually got over it but neither them nor her ever looked at me the same.

My Auntie Tasha claimed I was acting out because my father left us to be with his wife. But its the complete opposite my father calls me every chance he gets and always offers me a opportunity to move in with him but, I'm completely aware of that it would hurt my moms feelings so I always decline but the way my mother has been acting lately is making me really start to reconsider.

I texted Brea everything that happened and of course she wanted all details I swear her and Taylor are related. Addie quickly fell asleep so I changed to the investigation discovery channel my nosy self loves it so much.

I began wonder why Jayy hadn't text me after everything he said today, which took me down a memory lane of everything we been through and reminded me that I blocked his number when I caught him cheated with my supposed to be 'friend'.

I had never been so hurt and the fact that it was one of my friends stung worst. I didn't know who to blame because she was very flirtatious but he shouldn't have let her conniving ways get to him.

He blew up my phone trying to apologize but I told him don't contact me unless its for Addie then out of anger I blocked his number, which was idiotic because he couldn't text me even if he wanted to. However if he cared enough he could of texted my mothers phone. I know that wouldn't have worked out great but he still could have tried.

I unblocked Ajayy's number and my phone immediately was flooded with texts from him I didn't want to dwell on the past so I just read the one from today.

I'm sorry for everything lil one I know I told yo' ass a million times but I mean it. I love you I neva' lobed a girl befo' until  you  and I love Addie even more. I'd kill for yall. Eerybody make mistakes so you gone have to forgive me for that huge one and tell my princess I said goodnight and I'll pick yall up after school tomorrow. -9:48, Jayy💕😒

I smiled at the text then locked my phone. That's the longest text Ajayy ever sent besides when we argued but I could tell he put his heart into it.

After saying my bedtime prayers for Addie and I , I held onto my baby and went to sleep.

A few hours later I woke up to Addie crying I didn't think she was going to let me sleep through the night did I?

It was around three so She probably wants a bottle.

Putting a pacifier in her mouth to keep her content we made our way to the kitchen.

I opened the fridge to see if she had a bottle already made and luckily she did so I retrieved that one. After plugging her warmer into the wall I dropped her bottle in and began to wait while it warmed.

After Testing the temperature on my wrist making sure it wasn't too warm I gave the bottle to her.

She lasted all the way until we got back to my room then she started back crying again.

I changed her clothes, diaper and everything but she still wouldn't stop crying so I called her daddy maybe he could help.

"Hello." he huffed into the phone. I miss talking to him at night his sleepy voice was always the best.

"Jayy, Addie won't stop crying can you talk to her til she falls back asleep." I groaned.

He paused for a moment I think he was strugglingly to stay up.

"Yea baby." he spoke slowly and deeply. He was more sincere at night.

I put the phone to her ear and laid us both back down. I don't know what he said but it immediately calmed her back down because she stopped crying and was fighting to stay awake her eyes kept closing but she would open the back up before she gave up and went back to sleep.

She wrapped her hands tightly around my skin nearly pinching me sucking the life out of her pacifier so I knew she was sleep.

I took the phone from her ear and put it back on mine.

"You still there?"I spoke softly I'm tired too.

"Yea but now you gotta talk me to sleep." He mumbled.

"No I don't." I smiled. I wanted to though.

"I will come ova' their right now and wake everybody up and you know it." He continued to threaten me.

"We both know you won't." I joked but I knew he was serious.

"We both know I will do I need to remind you of what happened last time."I could tell he was smirking.

"No I was in so much trouble you don't need to remind me."I spoke. Him coming over here in the middle of the night playing loud ass music is part of the reason my mom doesn't like him.

"Aight' now do what daddy told you." his voice was extra smooth. I wish he was here right now.

"Jayy can I ask you something?" I got serious. I need to change the subject and clean my mind.

"Yea man." He dragged his words. He probably already knew what I was about to bring up

"Why didn't you try to come see Addie after we had that argument?" I spoke in a child like voice.

"I tried to text and call your phone everyday. I know you blocked my number but I still tried." He complained.

"Why didn't you call my mom then?" I questioned him.

"You really think I didn't call her I called her just as much as I called you. I have plenty of clothes and things for my baby over here that you don't even know about. I tried to give it to her but you know she never liked me so she wouldn't take it." His voice wasn't calm and soothing anymore.

"I'm sorry I didn't know."
I quickly apologized. Ajayy wasn't a bad person and I did kinda hender him from being involved in Addie's life.

"No reason to apologize to me mama it's my fault but I'll see you tomorrow though. I love you and my little one bye." He hung up. Before I could say anything back.

That's Jayy for you he gets mad and shuts me out. How does he think I felt. I been basically doing this by my self since I had Addie he doesn't think that my feelings are hurt. And I'm not about to call him back and baby him because that's all he wants. He wanna over react I'll let him over react.

I put my phone on my night stand and turned back over to go to sleep.

-

I swear it felt like I slept for a good 30 minutes before my alarm woke me up. Addie wasn't near me so my mom must've already got her prepared for the day. I didn't smell any breakfast so she's probably still mad at me.

After taking a shower I got dressed. I want to keep it simple today so I'll just put on a an all black nike fit knit with a pair of all black 11's.

I pulled my inches into a high pony laid my baby hears and put on a black nike headband to compliment my attire. I didn't have anything else left to do so I grabbed my phone and purse and went to look for my baby girl. 

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