a thousand light years from here
there's a hole of nothing.
i dig in me just to see that
i'm stuck in between life and death.
one day i flew through universe
in a small comfy spaceship,
halfway on my way there
i lost the only will, my wish.
the nothingness felt so small
as i traveled the entire galaxy,
my emotions disappeared, for
those on planet earth i fancy.
then i realised i could never
go back again, i'm all alone
inside this one leaf clover,
but i didn't care anymore.
it was better than jumping,
it was better than razor blade,
even thought i missed loving,
seconds and minutes became a day.
i was tired, i couldn't sleep,
those lights upon me
were suddenly so near,
surrounding me.
me dying felt so much alive,
the frozen skin turned me into stone,
once more at the age of five
when the universe was my home.
my breath stayed still
but i couldn't absorb the air,
it was missing, i was thrilled
i did something no one dares.
a meteorite crushes me,
my body devided itself.
it was the hitch in me,
i'd always crushed myself.
what was left of my existence
was separated, thrown away,
i watched from the distance
how i lost my other half that day.
