Would it be gay if...?/Jilix

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Felix-normal
Jisung-italics
(Just in case it gets confusing)

"Can you please tell me who keeps hurting you?"Jisung asked and Felix sat up to face him

"I will if you ask me that question you wanted to ask me when we were on our date " Felix said and Jisung visibly got a bit nervous

"I'm only agreeing to this because I love you and I want to know who's doing this to you "Jisung said and Felix smiled

"What was the question?" Felix asked

"Answer my question first then I'll ask"

"Fine...umm I don't really know where to start with this, it's kind of a long story" Felix said and Jisung pulled him back on the bed so they were laying down and facing each other

"We have time and now we are comfortable so go ahead" Jisung said as he touched Felix's face and leaned in to give him a kiss on his forehead before he started explaining everything

"When me and Changbin started dating in 8th grade I didn't think it was a big deal that he was a guy because everyone told us that we would look cute together and I didn't think that the person's gender mattered because it doesn't or at least it shouldn't "

"My parents didn't know that we were dating because for whatever reason I just didn't tell them. So one day my mom walked in on us kissing and she screamed at us and told Changbin to leave and never speak to me again"

"So after Changbin left, my mom hit me a few times then just sent me to school the next day. None of the teachers said anything but Chan and Changbin were freaking out about it and started asking me if I was okay or if anything happened about 20 times a day and I got really annoyed because I hate when people Pity me but they eventually stopped once i ranted about how bad it was making me feel since they were making my mom seem like a monster when I still love her. So please don't pity me"

"Lix" Jisung said softly "I get it but there's a difference between pity and caring so don't get annoyed if I care about you"

"I won't, just don't be annoying about it. If I'm not okay then I promise I will tell you that I'm not" Felix said and Jisung nodded as he took one of Felix's hands and hooked their pinkies together

"Pinky promise" Jisung said softly and Felix nodded

"So me and Changbin broke up since we only liked each other as friends anyways and he didn't want me to get hurt again. So my mom started watching my behavior more carefully and I was scared so I told myself I had to be straight so that I didn't get hit and I wasn't a disappointment"

"That's why you said you were straight?"

"Yeah but anyways. once I got to high school there was a boy who was one day older then me and extremely cute. We became best friends and I started catching feelings even though I knew I shouldn't of"Felix said and Jisung had a small smile, knowing that he is the 'boy' Felix is talking about

"I started to ask him if certain things I was doing or thinking was gay because I wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything that seemed gay since my mom would be mad. I wanted to get closer to him without being 'disgraceful' and making my mom mad but I ended up just falling for him even more without even noticing yet"

"I started to get jealous when he hugged other people even though I refused to let him hug me, then that leaded to me doing more skinship with him slowly"

"Then I saw him kiss another guy and it hurt my heart but I ignored it and told myself that I didn't care because I didn't want to care but I couldn't help it. Chan and Changbin made a group chat called 'Operation Jilix' where I was basically just denying that I liked the boy that I was obviously whipped for"

"Then he accidentally confessed that he liked me and I freaked out. He asked me to be his valentine and I wanted to be his real valentine but I said we should just be valentines as friends instead because I was scared and still telling myself that I have to be straight"

"But while we were hanging out on Valentine's Day that's when I realized I liked him and I started admitting it to myself. A while later I told him that I wasn't straight and that I liked him as more then a friend"

"You asked me out on a date and that same day, instead of texting you that I l-u-v you I said I l-o-v-e you" Felix said and Jisung smiled wider as Felix was finally saying 'you' instead Of 'he'

"On our second date we had our first kiss, which is when I learned that kissing you is best feeling in the world, and it always will be" Felix said as Jisung leaned in and gave him a kiss

"Then you walked me all the way home instead of halfway so my mom saw you kiss me goodbye and she hit me a lot and told me to never see you again but I told myself I wouldn't let her ruin this relationship so I wasnt planning on avoiding you. I stayed with Chan for a few days then when I got back It would be better but it was worse. Instead of beating me up she hurt me verbally and mentally which honestly hurt worse"

"That's why you ignored everyone?" Jisung asked and Felix nodded

"And despite me ignoring you for three days I still met you for our date that was scheduled. I have no idea why because at the time I hated myself for loving you. But you made me realize that I shouldn't and that there's nothing wrong with me loving you" Felix said and Jisung started tearing up

"I'm going to keep that promise to myself, my mom won't ruin our relationship because I love you way too much and I don't care about what she says about you because you're the most amazing person in my life" Felix finished and Jisung hugged him while wiping his eyes

"Aww Sungie, why are you crying?"

"I- I'm so sorry"

"Don't say sorry, I told you I don't like that"

"But Lix, it's my fault that your mom beat you up so badly"

"No it's not, you didn't know Jisung. Please don't blame yourself okay?" Felix asked and Jisung nodded

They both stayed quiet for a few seconds until Felix remembered Jisung's part of the deal

"Ask me the question you wanted to ask now" Felix said and Jisung pulled away from the hug to look at him

"Do I have to ask right now?"

"Yes, that was the deal"

"Okay, I wanted it to be way cuter then this but umm....Lee Felix, will you  be my boyfriend?" Jisung asked nervously

"Do you remember when you asked me 'if I could date anyone in the world who it would be?'" Felix asked

"Yeah, why are you changing the subject?"

"Because I just wanted you to know that I typed 'you' but then I deleted it because I got nervous"

"If you would have sent it I would have told you that I would choose you too" Jisung said and Felix smiled at him

"I would love to be your boyfriend Sungie"

This took me two hours to write ignoring that it's not that much longer then other chapters, But  it's still probably my least favorite chapter yet...oops