Saved Soldier (AB/DL)

20: Trust and Attatchment Issues

          Brodie's Pov:
I roll over on the hard mattress I lay in, trying to get a decent sleep before my alarm would start blaring... Oh wait. I quickly sat up with wide eyes and looked around. I groan when I see the grey atmosphere of the hospital. I rub my eyes with my hand and look down at my other arm, rolling my eyes at the fresh bandages. They had taken my shirt and put me in a large fluffy coat. I must say, it did feel rather nice... I liked the softness.
"Brodie!!" I look over to see Clay running over to me with a bowl of soup. He did almost spill some as he smiled in relief. "You've been asleep for so long!!" He goes back to a frown and feels my forehead.
I blush in embarrassment, thankful he didn't draw much attention. There were not many people in the building anyway. He smiles gently and grabs a spoon. "Here, I'll f-"
"I can feed myself." I grab the bowl and set it on my lap, then snatch the spoon, quickly beginning to eat. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until the mediocre hospital food had collided with my taste buds. It was some sort of vegetable soup with small pieces of what tasted like chicken in it.
Clay watches me with a slight smile. "Looks like Someone was hungry!"
I sigh and look away, nodding while my mouth was full. I continue to eat without saying a word to him, feeling as though there wasn't a point. He didn't seem too upset that I had run away. After a minute or two of hearing him talk about how nice the doctor was, I decided to just zone out. He continued to talk for a long time as I ate my soup. I would stare at the door for long periods of time before forcing myself to look back at him and nod a few times to pretend that I was paying attention.
     "Does that sound like a good plan Brodie?" He ruffles my hair as I simply shrugged and nodded my head, finishing up the last of my soup. I did like all the food these people were providing... it not only filled you up enough but was also pretty decent tasting. It reminded me of some soup that a local soup restaurant would sell back at home, somewhat bitter but with some level of tastiness so that people would still buy their products. They needed cheap money.
     I felt Clay lift me up suddenly, I squirm a bit for a moment, not wanting to go back. "You're coming back... then we are going to do what I had discussed with you... Alright?"
     I could hear his voice trying to sound strict, yet I felt the gentleness in his voice that he always seemed to have, he is basically a gentle giant. I could never picture him hurting anyone, which makes it somewhat crazy that he is a leading soldier on this side.
     "Brodie, I asked a question," he repeated softly and gently pokes at me. I look up at him and just nod, still not in the mood to talk to him. This causes him to sigh. "...why'd you run away...? What am I doing wrong...?" He can never sound strict... but he can sound sad. That's for sure. I could hear the heartbreak in his voice, making it sound as though I just killed his puppy.
I shrug. "I don't know..."
"Yes, you do know." He sniffles and speaks in a shaky voice. "You Just don't want to tell me... I just don't understand. I don't want to tell them I've failed this assignment." He pushes my head into his chest. I could feel him shaking and heard a loud sniff come from him. His throat was clogging up as he was about to cry.
I sigh. He has done everything for me. He was too nice. It annoyed me. It felt like I was both never good enough for it and it all felt completely unreal. How could someone keep giving to someone who has shut them out and been such a jerk? "It just... confuses me..." I look down. "The fact that you're not... angry with me- er, well... Jono and me... You're treating as like children and acting so gentle! What have I ever done to deserve any sort of kindness? Or any pity?!" I growl a bit in my frustration. "You act like you don't have a plan, but I know you do!! You're going to kill us, torture us slowly!!" I shout up at him and glare.
He looks into my eyes and nods. "Brodie... I know this is all confusing... and I know this is hard but, you need to trust me." He gives me a serious look. "You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable, to depend on me..." he hugs me tightly. "I'm really sorry it has to be this way... I can't say much... I want to do badly... because I-"
I cut him off, not wanting to take the chance to feel any sort of sadness towards his situation. "So there is a plan... isn't there?"
"Well, technically-"
I cut him off. "No." I speak sharply. "I don't want to hear technically! Is there a plan or not?!" I grab onto his shirt and grip onto it tightly, glaring up at him.
Tears form in his eyes as he looks away and gulps, slowly nodding his head and shutting his eyes to avoid the truth.
I let out a breath. "I knew it... I knew it this whole time!! You're going to break us down emotionally some how!! Torture us with it!! Haha!!" I laugh a bit in a more or less insane way. It felt as though everything was against me at this point, like no matter what I did I was in the wrong.
"We aren't going to do that! I can't tell you what they want to do but I need you to trust me! The only way you're going to get out of this safely and most likely alive is if you do as I tell you!! Now shut up and listen for once!!" He shouts out in frustration. I look up at him with a bit of shock, never hearing any level of anger in his voice. "Now don't you dare cut me off again!!" He grabs my chin and forces me to look up into his eyes. "You're a solider Anyway, it should be easy enough for you to take commands without question! I realize how weird this all must be and you're smart for not just going with it... but you need to believe in me! This will probably be the hardest thing you ever do in your life, but I know you can do it! You're an extraordinary person Brodie, and I know it's asking for a lot but... I just don't want to loose anybody..." he lets go of my chin and hugs me tighter than before. "I don't want to loose you... Vicky's right... I'm getting too attached..." he sniffles and held onto me tightly.
I look up at his scrunched up face as he tried to hold in tears. He was a very genuine person. It almost annoyed me how perfect he was. "Why can't you just tell me?" I look up at him.
"My superiors would find out... and it's a lot to handle... besides, I just want you to be happy..." he laughs between a small cry and brushes my hair back.
I lean against him and let out another sigh. Some could probably consider me to act like a bratty, resilient teenager. For the past... frankly however long I've been here. A month maybe? Clay has been the person I've been with the whole time. He honestly has never shown any signs of being evil... I think I just assumed he would have something up his sleeve; some sort of secret he was hiding from me. I've never heard him break any promises either... I don't understand why my brain keeps telling me not to trust him. Something from somewhere else inside me is telling me to just go with him, do as he says... that going with him is the right thing to do, what I want... something that will restore my happiness. I haven't felt truly happy since the day before I was drafted.
"I... I'll trust you..." I mumble into his ear.
"Th-Thank you..." I hear him whisper as he continues to embrace me in the hug. I decided to just leave the whole situation be. I don't know what is 'superiors' are doing to him, but I figured it'd be best if I were more gentle and easy on him... I have been rather selfish anyway.
     "I don't care if I'm too attached..." he mumbles into my ear. I look up at him. "I don't care what Vicky says... I don't care what they do to me for it..." he held me even tighter. "You're my baby. It's my job."

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Hello everyone!! Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter! I'm sorry if it feels like everything has all been filler recently, I'll work on getting in more of the plot I have planned for this book! Have an awesome day/night! ☺️❤️