take me home || akashi seijuro

Chapter 37 - Moment of Truth

"Whatever makes you sad, leave it. Whatever makes you smile, keep it." --Gray-eyed Guardian

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Days passed by with a feeling of anxiety running within me.

If it was because of my departure... maybe. I can't understand myself at this moment.

There would be times that I can feel my legs or hands shaking for no reason. Whenever I talk to Akashi, I would always look down and think about everything over and over again.

If I was feeling guilty... maybe.

Guilty for not being honest with him. Guilty for leaving him without an explanation. Again, am I being selfish? Was I keeping the problems to myself instead of sharing them with Akashi?

If I should even tell it to him... I don't know.

He's the smartest person I knew- I'll give him that- but can he understand my situation?

I never asked for any of this. I never wanted to be here in the first place. I had always wanted to go back to my own world. That was before.

At this moment, I'm still having second thoughts.

Questions would run in my head repeatedly like 'Can I leave this place just when I started to accept being here?' or somewhat like 'Can I leave all the friends I made and had bonded with?' but there is only one question that would come out on top and can make me tear up in no time.

'Can I actually leave Akashi?'

Just the thought of not seeing him ever again felt like a thousand daggers were being thrust to my chest and twisted. My breaths would come in short amd painful gasps. It tears me up. I just can't fathom my life without him being in it.

I wanted to tell him everything but is it the best desicion?

I tried my best to act normal as possible in front of him. I would try so hard to keep the tears from falling but knowing him... he probably knows that something is wrong.

He never said a word. He never demanded nor did he asked a question. It seemed like he was actually waiting for me to be cornered and confess everything that's bothering me.

Eventhough I know that he's trying to be patient with me, I can still feel he's close to snapping. That's why I would be alone in a corner or maybe I'll make up an excuse just to be away from him.

I never wanted this to happen but I can't lie in his face.

"Do you think that's the only choice you have?" One guy asked me as I sat on the bench where I saw the strange brown haired guy.

This time, this guy was a gray-haired one with impassive gray eyes. He was staring off in a distance. His tattoo on the side of his neck in full show.

I looked at him, asking myself if he was actually talking to me. As I looked around, there was nobody here but the two of us. His gray eyes focused on me with an unreadable expression. "W-What do you mean?"

"Do you think running away from everything can solve your problem?" He queried again.

Avoiding his gaze, I gazed at my fingers that kept shaking uncontrollably. "I... I-I'm confused. I-I d-don't know... what to do." I gave him the only answer in my head.

He rested his jaw on his right fist as he eyes me. Was this the guy that stranger was talking about? The cold one? "Shouldn't you tell your boyfriend what's to happen next?" He threw a question again.

"I-Isn't that considered to be breaking a rule?" I asked skeptically.

He shrugged indifferently. "Rules are meant to be broken." The boredom in his face was evident. "Are you really sure you can leave him?"