A Beautiful Confusion

Chapter 12. Kiss

This is happening right now.

I hope I don't mess this up, I have never kissed a girl.

I started moving in for the kiss, I could feel the heat between us growing like a flame yet the heat was not overwhelming. Her hand slid across my chest towards my shoulder and my hand instinctively moved below her waste. Her hands are warm and her skin is soft and smooth.
Her right hand eventually rested on my neck and my left hand below her waste, our foreheads and noses were against each other as we both hesitated for a moment.

And just as I decided to go for it, a car light flashed towards us and without even thinking I moved my hand out of her gown and sat up just to see the car was only taking a slow turn.

Ah crap.

I messed up our moment and now I may never kiss a girl.

"Dammit Cameron." I whisper to myself but I'm pretty sure Charlotte heard me.

When I looked at Charlotte she looked like nothing happened, she was just staring into the great beyond thinking God knows what.

"Do you know why I brought you here Cameron?" Charlotte asks but doesn't take here eyes away from the sky.
"To kiss me" I think.
"To keep you company." I respond.
"Exactly, and you just proved why I asked you in particular."
"How?" I raise my brow.
"You fully understand me, when I'm around you I feel free, I don't have to act like anyone else but myself."

This girl just keeps surprising me spontaneously, I did not expect to hear something this...intense.

"I'm so glad you feel this way, it really means a lot to me." I respond, still astonished by what I just heard Charlotte say.

One of the things I love the most is making people happy, some people take advantage of my kindness but I am working on that. Moments like these give me a sense of fulfillment.

We spent about thirty minutes just talking, laughing and enjoying the scenery before we started walking home.

"I really had a good time today, thanks Cam." Charlotte says as we stop outside her gate.
"The pleasure is mine." I embrace her and before she pulls away she kisses my cheek and walks off just like that.

By the time I was entering the house I noticed the sun was rising and I couldn't help stopping to see the beautiful view. From the back entrance I could see the pinkish layer of light above the horizon.

I lied down on my bed and my phone started ringing (which never happens) I checked and saw it was Iris calling. All the emotions of the previous night started flooding into me. I was angry at her for playing with my emotions, annoyed that she can laugh at the joke while I act like it's nothing and then a part of me wants to burst into laughter.

I decided to answer the call even though I am still a little angry at her for her prank.

"Hey." Iris greets.
"Why you calling so early?" I ask.
"I wanted to hear if your still grieving." She laughed and I couldn't help laughing in response.
"You have a weird sense of humor, do you do this to everyone?"
"No, only people I'm close to like my sister."

After that sentence I couldn't stay mad at her, I'm as close to her as her sister, woah that's mind blowing.
We talked a little more then she hung up.

How did I find myself in this position. TWO girls to choose from, okay I am not exactly choosing but I am deciding which one to go for. On the one side there's Charlotte who is making the move on me and on the other side there's Iris who is getting closer to me but will be a long term project which will take more effort.
I decided to ask for advice from a mutual decision maker.

"So what should I do?" I ask my cousin Mikel after showing him a picture of both of them and explaining the situation.
"Ah bruh go for both, two nice mummies like this and they coming for you, if you don't at least come out with one don't talk to me ever again." He responds.

Mikel and I have been good friends for years but I should have known better than to ask him for advice in this situation. All he did is make me realize I'm too focused on appearance, I should be focusing on character these are two amazing girls and they deserve someone who will love them based on their character not on how they look. Once I get to know how they truly are that is when I will be able to make a decision. I just hope I can come out of this without anyone having to be heart broken and I hope if it comes to it I can handle being heart broken.

But if I'm being honest I don't even know if I like Charlotte or if I'm just excited that she most likely likes me. I think it's just excitement because even in the middle of all of this, Iris is the one I am constantly thinking about, she makes me excited to wake up and go to school and she makes me eager to go to sleep because I can't wait for the next day. Iris is the one I can say I have a clear crush on not Charlotte, but when I am with Charlotte I do feel free, I know we have a connection that's so strong even she can feel it but whether that connection is a romantic one. . . I don't know.

I have always wanted to be in this kind of situation but now that I'm in it, I don't want to be in it anymore.
I'm stressing about who to choose and forgetting that I'm not picking a pair of shoes, they have their own decisions to make plus these girls haven't even said they like me.

All this thinking is a little confusing but I need to be decisive and the one I choose deserves my full attention.

My decision is made, and Iris will get my full attention and if she doesn't feel the same. . . I'll cross that bridge when I get there.