A Beautiful Confusion

Chapter 3. Jealousy

I can't help but stare at her. I don't know if I'm crazy but everything about her is just... Perfect. I barely know her but I know she's such an amazing person, I feel so stupid!

We are in physics and I have been staring at her for the whole lesson. I have actually been staring at her for just under a year now. I think I'm obsessed now.

"Day and night, I toss and turn I keep stress in my mind"
I sang under my breath as I stare at her.

"Cameron!!" Mrs Williams shouted and kicked me out of my day dream.
"Where are you? Are you still with us or did we leave you behind?" She said with her strange accent.
"Uhm no ma'am I'm here, I'm . . . here." I replied with a lost facial expression as usual.
"Ok then what did I just say?" Mrs Williams asked with an evil smirk.
"You asked me where I was." I smiled as everyone laughed.
Mrs Williams completely fed up, turned around and continued teaching.

I feel like such an idiot I'm sure Iris thinks so too.
The bell rang for the lunch break and as everyone else left the class I sat and day dreamed, I'm a lost cause.

"Dude the bell rang let's go." John laughed, John Harry is it be of the smart people in the gang his a little on the pervert side but I enjoy talking to him.

I followed him out and as we walked down the hallway and there she was sitting all alone on a green bench in the middle of the long Northriding high hallway.

"Uhm I'll catch up with you later bro I need to...I need to sort something out." I told John as I planned my approach.
"Ok cool." He replied and walked away.

I didn't know what I was going to say to her. I hoped I didn't sound like an idiot.
"Oh damn I'm here...I should probably say something." I thought once I reached her.
"Uhm can I help you?" Iris asked as I just stood and stared.
"Uhm . . . yeah, uhm I mean no." I said nervously.
"Ookay." She slowly replied.
"Take a deep breath and speak."
"I was wondering if I could get your number." I asked hesitantly.
"Oh shoot, I'm sorry I don't have a cell phone." She said calmly as she got up and walked away.

Who the hell asks for a number like that.
Ahhhhhh!!!
I am such an idiot and what kind of a teenager doesn't have a phone, well actually I don't have a phone, honestly I don't know why I asked for her number even if I got it it's not like I would have been able to do anything with it. This is so disappointing.
Sigh.
At least no one saw and she didn't say no. Well she doesn't have a phone but it still counts...right.

***

Iris

It was a typical Saturday morning, nothing out of the ordinary happened at home. I woke up to clean the house and watched TV when I was done. My place is a pretty simple house, it is a 3 bedroom house that is L shaped so in this case the bottom of the L is the front of my house and the 2 car garage is the little extension to the right. The interior has milky white tiles and red walls (which I still find weird), it is an old fashioned beige house on the outside but it has a modern layout inside (so basically it has new tiles and paint).
There is nothing too interesting about my lifestyle, I do not have a phone so I do not have much else to do, well I could have done my homework but Meh. . .where is the fun in that.

"Cameron!" My mother calls out.
"Ma!" I reply as I went to the kitchen.

She was still in her pink PJ's, so I immediately knew her calling me meant she is sending me to a shop to buy something to eat for breakfast and that is obviously bread.

"Go buy two loafs of bread." She said exactly what I expected her to say.

I could probably predict my entire day including the conversations, except for school days, for some reason school somehow became more unpredictable. I think it's because my friends are drastically changing mentally and physically, they have the same basic characteristics but new aspects of themselves are arising.

Iris

Anyway I left the house and put on my earphones to listen to some astronomical Travis Scott tunes. Travis is one of my favourite artists, his music just seems to align with my multiple moods and his lyrics and flow evoke the deepest emotions.
I am not an emotional person. . . well at least that is what I tell myself, my therapist says that's what I have forced myself to become -it is extremely hard for me to express my feelings in anyway, maybe my emotions are just too overwhelming for me.
I can't talk about this stuff to others because I do not want to depress people coz we all have our own problems, and I do not see how sharing what I feel would change my situation, it's really pointless but sometimes I feel like I need to get some stuff off my chest so I guess it's not.

Iris

As I was walking I bummed into Jammy who is one of my squad members, when I say I bummed into him I mean it in a literal way. He was jogging and I was running to the store and we both were not looking in the right direction as we approached a corner and. . . the rest is self explanatory.
Jammy is the person I have known for the longest amount of time at Northriding High, he was the first friend I made back in grade 8 and even though we may not be the best of friends but we respect and appreciate each other on level higher than the others, but a percentage of the respect may be fear because he is freakishly strong (he plays rugby).

"Dude you are jogging but you not watching where you're going." I say as I rub my head.
"I should watch were I'm going? What about you?" Jammy laughs as he sits down on the pavement.
"Oh, How was the ball on Thursday?"
"Oh yeah, you didn't come and you were absent yesterday, it was . . . boring I don't think it could have been worse than it was."
"Whoa, that bad hey. Anyway what's knew? Do you have a girlfriend?" He grins.

Iris

Once again I am bothered by the same stupid question. I wonder why me getting a girlfriend is such a big deal to everyone, I feel like shooting someone every time they ask this stupid question but I don't show that it bothers me I just smile and act dum.

"I have alot of girlfriends man."
"Stop lying man."
"I'm serious dawg. If I have a friend that's a girl what does that make her?"
"Mxm, shut up and go buy bread."

I have successfully avoided The Question and annoyed someone today, sounds like a promising day. I wonder who else I can annoy today?

Iris

I bought the bread and rushed home and we had our breakfast,
since I don't have a phone I spent the rest of the day watching TV because I have nothing else to do, no phone, no console, no proper computer and strict parents, everything a boy could ask for right?
I'm actually not really worried about these things at the moment. Yes, I wish I had them but my parents do their best for me to have a normal life even though sometimes their actions are questionable, they have my best interests at heart (sometimes).
Sometimes I love them and on most days I feel like tossing them over a bridge but from what I hear I'm not alone in this department (Well at least that's what Charlotte and Mikel say) but I will keep my thoughts to myself just in case.

In the afternoon I played Football on the street outside my house with a few people from Bridgetown, after the game we sat and talked.

"Eyyy! Cameron when are you finally going to make a move on Iris?" Mabhena asked, I looked around to see if anyone else heard and once I realized no one heard him I pulled him aside.
"Hey man! I don't like Iris okay, don't start this rumour!"
"Dude you can keep on lying to everyone else but you can't hide it from me, I see how you stare at here."
"What? Meee! Stare? I don't. . . I don't stare!"
"All I'm saying is you better make your move coz I heard Edward likes her."

Imagine Edward likes Iris and he didn't tell me about it. Okay we aren't best budds but we talk often and he didn't mention anything of the sort. I don't think Edward is the right guy for her, he probably isn't even serious and Iris deserves someone who will take her seriously.

Whoa!

Am I jealous?