A Beautiful Confusion

Chapter 11. Shock

At that moment I felt a pain in my chest that I can not really describe. This was not what I wanted to hear from her, this is unexpected.

Iris dying?

Death and Iris were the only words swirling through my brain and depression and sorrow racing around my heart.

Dying?

I felt my chest begin to rise and fall rapidly without me thinking, struggling to take a breath I lied down and held my chest. It took me a while to calm down enough to look at my phone to see if this is really happening, sadly it really was and I saw she sent another message.

Iris:
I am sorry to drop a bomb on you but I just thought you should know this.

Iris dying!!

After reading the message that's when the crying started and because we weren't face to face I let the river flow.

I started typing in the middle of my crying (which was hard) I couldn't really see well while the tears ran down my face and the mucus ran down my nose as everything sunk in.

Cameron:
Is there completely nothing they can do?
Surely there has to be something?

Iris:

There is no use we have tried
everything and I have even
accepted the inevitable, I suggest you do to.

So I'm just supposed to live like this isn't happening?!
I can't!

Cameron:

I don't think I can.

I ended up doing something I don't do too often.

Praying.

I kneeled down beside my bed and closed my eyes.

Dear God I know I don't pray as much but I'm hear now not for me but for Iris.
Please help her get better she is one of the most amazing people I know and I thank you for allowing me to get close to her, I pray that you shall help her to stay healthy because she deserves a long life filled with joy in abundance, may you please grant her this.
Please Lord help her
But may your will be done
Amen.

After praying I felt guilty for praying only in desperate or dire situations and felt bad for not responding positively but I actually don't know how exactly to respond.

Why did she tell me this?
And why now?

Does she know I like her and she doesn't want me to get my hopes up or does she see we are getting too close and she doesn't want me to get close to her just to loose her in the end?
Actually it shouldn't matter why she told me, what matters is the fact that she trusted me with this personal information and all I have to do is make sure I support her and all I want to do is to stay with her no matter what, besides she is not dead.

Yet.

I felt a little better and just as I did I heard a message come in.

Iris:
Luckily for you you won't have to.
Gotcha sucker😏😂

Cameron:
What?

Iris:
I was joking, I'm not dying

Cameron:
😐

I didn't know what to say to her at that moment.

I cried!
For bloody nothing!!

WHAT THE HELL!!

***

I woke up at 4:00am because Charlotte asked me to (I will never understand women), my conversation with Iris last night is still fresh in my mind and honestly the depressing feeling is still lingering at the back of my mind.

Bloody Iris.

I got out of bed and went to take a snack for Bingo and I. When I went outside it was still dark but it's mid August so of course it's dark on a early winter morning, I love this time of day. The cool breeze that brushes against your skin, the cold fresh air, the dark sky, birds whistling and the complete silence that makes you feel like the only one in the world.

It was cool but not cold, I am just sitting with Bingo's head on my lap as I slowly brush my fingers through her fur.

"Cameron!" I hear and turn to see Charlotte at the gate.
I pull my phone out and say " It's 4:26!"
"Ya but I knew you would be up, come out."

I opened the gate and walked out wondering what the hell we are doing out of bed at this time.

"Are you cold?" I ask her because I feel a little chilly and I am wearing... dammit.

I was in black boxers, a white vest, a read jacket and I wore white socks in black adidas slides.

She noticed my concern in my attire and laughed. "Don't worry your boxers look like shorts."
"I guess they do but it still feels weird being out in them."
"Well I'm not dressed any better." She says and then untied her fluffy pink gown to reveal that she was wearing a small white shirtsleeve T and a really really (really) short pair of multi colored silk short.

"Woah, uhm...woah." I stutter.
Stupid reaction.
"Yeah it's kinda cold." She says with a smile that seemed mischievous.

That was a strange, I know she is free spirited but...woah.

Dammit I'm staring, change the topic. "I uh... I like your..." I say pointing down at her slippers.
"You like my legs?"
Dammit.
"No!"
"So they're not nice?" Charlotte says as she examines her legs.
"They are!" I blurted out. "Very nice." I think but don't say.
" Relax I'm messing with you." She smiles and we both laugh.

I messed that up she probably thinks I'm a pervert.

You are!

After that there was a awkward moment but Charlotte ended it by grabbing my hand and dragging me down the road.

"Where are we going?" I ask before I stop but then carry on walking.
"The park." She replies.

This really strange but I can't stop smiling because for some reason I am loving every minute of this.

We reached the park and stopped in the middle of the park. The park is really small, it's only about a 100 meters on all four sides.
I noticed the moment we stopped that we were still holding hands but the strange thing is, I don't want to let go and I don't.

We face each other then Charlotte pushes me and I land on my back.

"What the hell Charly?" I ask but stay on the ground. She went on her knees then lied down right next to me.
"Look at the sky, isn't it beautiful?" She shifts closer.
I turn my head to her and look into her eyes "It reminds me of your eyes." I say trying to joke but i ended up saying it seriously maybe even with a little passion in it.

We carried on looking into each other's eyes and our heads were so close we were shoulder to shoulder and I could feel each breath she took brush against my face. Her breath smelt so sweet and her eyes looked amazing under the star lit sky.

Then it hit me.
I should kiss her.

And just as I thought of it, it was like she could hear my thoughts because she started moving in for the kiss.