anagapesis | coriolanus snow

16 | memories

I FINALLY GOT OUT OF MY ROOM. And when I did, the bathroom was the first thing I ran to. I was on my knees in front of the toilet bowl, throwing up all the food that I swallowed last night. I couldn't feel my head, it was spinning vigorously. I captured a sight of an Avox at the corner of my eye. The bright red uniform caught my eye instantly. The woman kneeled down beside me, not caring if she got her uniform wet. Her hand went to grab a chunk full of my hair, holding it back as another wave of vomit came out.

When I was finished, I made my way to the sink to wash my face. I looked at the mirror to see the female in red still standing by the door. "Thank you," I whispered. For the ten years of my life staying here, I've never learnt the Avoxes names before. I felt sorry for them, having to know what the Capitol had done to them.

"Are they home?" I asked again as I looked at her reflection on the mirror. She replied with a simple head shake, which wasn't much of a surprise. Pa was never home, always busy with business meetings while having Ma sticking beside him like a parasite.

I don't get why Ma still loved him despite what he had done to her. She was always soft and sensitive, and Pa used that. She deserves so much better than him. But I guess love makes you blind. It forces us to believe things that were never there. I hoped my love for Coriolanus isn't close to theirs.

I excused myself from the Avox and made my way to the kitchen. The house was awfully silent. The house felt empty than it usually was. Sejanus wasn't there.  Whenever the house was ours, he would blast some music and we'd act like the whole house was a club, treating orange juice as alcohol. I was never a big fan of the type of drink after seeing Pa's alcoholic behaviour.