Mu
present
"Hey! Watch where you're going!"
I love this city. For every boring, overly courteous shopkeep or barista, there's a rude, absolutely invigorating passerbyer that'll curse you out for knocking into them.
"My bad!" I squeak with a smile, making some room on the sidewalk for the three overly bundled-up. Scarfs covering half their faces give a chic, cultish sort of look, so I'll admit to their warbdrobed bravery. "Your hair is simply so shaggy I confused you for my principal and wanted to say hello."
My Aizawa look-alike thins his eyes, his counterpart bared of scarf or hood wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
"Don't growl like a rabid dog Sora, they're right. With locks like that, you scare all the ladies away, hehe."
My, my. The odd-looking creature has an affinity for pronouns. I turn on my heel and walk backward, looking at them fade into the crowd.
"Get off me, you lunatic."
"Silly Sora. Remember the mission. We have to blend in."
As the two squabble amongst each other, the girl at the center smacks them both upside the head. Her hands sign every which way with fury and flair. She may as well be scolding children with that look on her face.
My free show of three actually interesting humans soon disappears. With masses of salarymen and tourists, the bustles of the road, and shadow-casting skyscrapers, the city swallows them.
"They seem fun," Kenji says at my side.
"The reptilian? Loads." I concede, shrugging my shoulders and facing forwards again, skipping a single step ahead. "Can't speak for Aizawa and that vivacious young woman though."
"He doesn't look that much like Sensei."
"Did you not hear his grumbling? Nor see his eyebags? He might as well be a love child. Speaking of,"
As we turn a corner, I'm deftly reminded of why Kenji and I are frolicking these streets in the first place. It's a quaint Saturday afternoon, perfect for hooliganism and smoking wee- I mean church. And what does my dear best friend do!?
"Kenji, my darling!" I yell, grabbing her by the shoulders. She blinks at my volume a few times, chin retreating into her neck. "You mustn't go on dates without a chaperon! By god, what if the boy had been too rude to handle? Or worse," I press a hand to mouth in absolute terror, whispering the next unthinkable words. "What if he had no fashion sense?"
"Relax Mushi." Kenji rolls her eyes, prying my fingers off of her, cradling them in her hands. "He was surprisingly..." That blushful smile tweaks the corners of her lips, gifting me with the same puffy-cheeked look the girl's been wearing since we were in diapers. "Kind."
Ah yes. The bare minimum for a romantic partner. My darling must augment her standards immediately!
"Fine, fine," I say, waving my hands, ridding the notion of her date with a male member of society from the air. "I'll concede, you both looked happy through the binoculars."
Turns out my sperm donor has resourceful friends. Kirishima-san had some just lying around. Said he used it in the past on an adventure to rescue Ame's father in high school. Given that I was rescuing Kenji from a horrible decision, borrowing them without asking was a selfless, necessary act. I know, I know. It's obvious I was raised by saints of heroes.
Don't fret for our lovely pink maiden. When Kenji's companion whore-ishly tried to end the date with a kiss, I swooped in to save the day. I've never jumped across a table, stole an elderly woman's cappuccino, and accidentally spilled it on another human being so fast in my life. There was that time Ame was victim to a girl's flirtations last year, but I do believe I broke my record.
