Whimsical beauty ✔️

Chapter 15

Amal

Saif's silence continued on to the next day. Iya had assured me that I did well. That Saif did not look like a guy forced to get married. All will be well, she said.

Dare I believe her?

I saw the anger in his eyes. I felt it. But if I don't believe Iya, what will I do? So I played it cool. To my sisters, I acted as if I was confident in my position as the new wife. To the entire world even. I don't know if I fooled Aunt Biba. But I know I did not fool Abba. Though it was too much to hope that he will feel anything about the way I was being treated.

The dinner is tomorrow and it is supposed to be the last event. It will act as a reception where Maree and Pretty will welcome me into their home.

"You will be ready by ten in the morning. We will take you to Iya's where we will bring you to Papa and Merama and they will give their blessings. Then you will be taken to your home at Sulaimanu crescent. Anisa and co will be there ready to change you into your dinner gown. Hopefully, Saif will pick you up and you won't have to be taken there alone and we will head to the wedding venue. Afterward, Saif will take you home and everyone else will go home" Aunt Biba explained.

I nodded. Why will he come? It will shame him to be seen with me. I'm certain of that. But I still played my role, I acted as if his coming should not be questioned.

I was dressed in a pitch and green patterned lace that showed a most vibrant lily flower. It helped to make me look older than I actually was. Especially when I wore the thick veil that covered my face as well as more than half of my body. I wore so many perfumes I wonder how people managed to stay next to me. I was as perfect as I could get I guess.

Iya sat with her relatives and friends in her big parlour. She is wearing a pure white lace and she looked amazing. Anyone can see how happy she was. I felt envious of her. I wish I was that happy with this wedding.

So many jokes danced around in periodic excellence and everyone laughed with mirth. All except me. I was thinking of how much bravado I could muster to look at people when Saif decides not to show. It won't just shame me or Iya, but my family as well. I'm very particular about what shames my sisters.

Papa prayed for me. He gave me a few advices and he made it clear that should I need his help, advice or wisdom, he would always be here. I was very grateful because I would really take him up on that in the near future.

Finally, I was taken off to Sulaimanu crescent where I would be living with Saif and family!

I was so scared. My hands twitched painfully needing me to squeeze them for reassurance but I still endured. If anyone saw me pulling at my hands, I'll really give myself away.

Not knowing what will become of me scares me.

Leaving my family scares me.

Venturing into new territories scare me.

I just...I needed comfort from a person I really trust. For the first time ever, I wished my mother was here. I would never know what it would feel to have her here. I would never know the maternal kindness and security that moms give freely.

I have no one to speak to about my fears. No one ever asked me truly if I did want to get married. And if I did, to what extent was I ready to devote to it. If I feel like no one important enough to make a change truly cares, would that be bad judgement?

I thought of a solution myself. I wasn't old enough to know what lies ahead. I can't prepare for it. But I needed to make resolutions. I've always taken care of others but I find that taking care of myself will be just as hard. But I would try.