Destined [JIKOOK]

A Lot Of Time To Think

Jungkook

"J-Jungkook?  You're alive?  You're here?"

"You're the one King Jin warned me about."

I stood in the walkway between the rows of dank, dark, stone cells.  I could hear the water dripping down the walls and smell the pungent punch of mold burning my nostrils.  Living beings were kept here.  It didn't feel right to me that they would be kept in such inhumane conditions.  A sliver of a distant memory of me fighting my way through this very walkway tried to nudge itself to my consciousness.  Perhaps I, or someone I cared about was kept here before, too?

"King Jin says he's my brother.  He says that you're my father, but that you're very dangerous.  Not just to me, but to the kingdom.  I want to know what you have to say for yourself, though.  If you're truly my father, then you deserve that chance to explain yourself."

The raggedy elder man looked up from the dirty stone floor to lock remorseful eyes with mine.  "I thought you were dead.  Do you remember nothing?  If this were a mere handful of weeks ago, I'd have denied everything.  I'd have done my best to manipulate you into believing Jin was a fraud, but now I see...I'm the only fraud here.  I've had a lot of time to think, Jungkook.  Fear has already corrupted me enough.  I can't let it corrupt you too.  I am so grateful you're alive, son.  The only thing worse for a father than losing his son is knowing that it was at his own hands.  The guilt has ruined me.  I don't deserve the joy of seeing you here before me."

Despite myself, I sat in the filth, not caring for the cool water and dirt that marred my pressed black trousers.  "Tell me what you mean, father.  Tell me everything."

"My son," he began sorrowfully, "What your brother says of me is true.  I'm a danger to everyone.  I deserve every punishment I receive.  I love you so dearly and I let my fear misguide me from that.  I...I stabbed you.  My blade was not intended for you, but instead for your beloved, but is that not just as bad?  I intended to murder in cold blood the only man you've ever loved.  When your mother died, a piece of me died with her and even if I had killed Prince Jimin instead of you, I would have still killed the piece of you that always belongs to him.  But I didn't kill Prince Jimin.  Your love for him was so great that you stood in front of him and took the blade for yourself.  You saved his life, and I was certain it had cost you yours.  That I had been the killing blow to my own son.  What's worse is that this isn't the first time I had intention to harm one of my sons.  I hurt Jin.  I kept him in this very cell and tortured him.  I might have even killed him if things had gone differently.  I was such a fool."

He began to weep as he looked down at his open palms as if he could still see my blood staining them red.  I wanted to do something to ease his pain, even though a part of me that was still hidden was glad to see his penance.  The conflicting emotions were shoved aside as my hand moved of its own free will through the bars to squeeze his shoulder.  He flinched, letting out a soft cry as he did.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness, son, so don't you dare give it because I won't be accepting it."

I shook my head.  "I know that it's my place to forgive you, but it feels like another me that doesn't exist just yet that can give it.  I merely wanted to understand.  To try to jog the memory your wound stole from me.  I want to know the man I hold in my arms at night.  I feel as if he's the only anchor I have and I must remember myself if only for him.  He's too patient.  Too kind.  He deserves the me he fell in love with, not the hollow shell of him that I've become without my memories."

My father chuckled a little as he met my eyes once more, tears dripping onto his wrinkled cheeks.  "I once said you could learn some humility and compassion from Prince Jimin.  That you were too wild.  I see that he has given you all that and more.  I'm...I'm proud of you son.  And I'm so deeply sorry that I can't begin to imagine a way toward making true amends."

I withdrew my hand from the bars and stood, dusting off my trousers as best as I could.  "Perhaps one day I can forgive you, once I know myself better.  For now, I think the one you must truly make amends with is the Prince who sat with me by my death bed and never once gave up hope I would come back to him.  If anyone doesn't deserve...I can't possibly have been worthy..."

The former king huffed out a pained laugh.  "You're much more worthy than you know, Prince Jungkook.  I'm sorry I've ever let you believe otherwise over the years."

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A/N: We're coming to the end now!  Just a few more chapters!  I promise I'll do a better job updating these last ones til the end!

Will Jungkook get his memories back?

Will Jimin ever know Jungkook's secret?

What will everyone think of Jungkook going to see their father?

Is the fact that I'm having less and less questions meaning an end is near?  (Yes.  :) Yes, it does mean that.)

See you next time as we get close to the conclusion of Destined, Lovely Armies!