Love is painful in two ways. It hurts to let go. It hurts to leave.
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Each time I caught him staring at me, he would just smile at me with an eyebrow raised and gave me a thumbs up, a sign asking if I was okay. I would just smile...
I never thought that a Korean singing group could receive much recognition internationally, including in the west. I felt awed and proud that such Asian artists could conquer the world with their music. Meanwhile, my assistant Min-ho couldn't believe that I only knew little about this boyband. He said that BTS went to New York City and appeared on Jimmy Fallon's show numerous times. He told me that knowing BTS is a must in Korea. So when I arrived in my new apartment, I wasted no time reading articles to learn more about them.
I was surprised at myself for not knowing how big this boyband was. All I heard was that BTS were artists from Korea who kept topping the billboard charts.
"Hmm. That's something to be proud of as someone who is from Korea," was all I said in my mind, but I really never had an interest in them before.
Could it be because I was too busy traveling to places to take beautiful shots that I didn't get to hear about them? Since I kept this hobby from my family, I had to work undercover and sneak out from home most of the time. I had a busy hustle life, you know.
The second thing I was shocked by was...
"Jeon Jungkook?"
Jeon Jungkook is the seventh member of the boyband BTS, the youngest and the lead vocalist of the group. He was named 'golden maknae' because of his multiple talents and ability to learn things quickly.
"Did I read it right? My childhood best friend Jungkook is a member of BTS. Is this real?!"
Staring at the picture of him on the screen, my trembling fingers trailed the edges of the tablet while I examined the same but different face I last saw ten years ago. His mole still perfectly rests under the hood of his lower lip. His innocent eyes still shone the brightest. But the adorable face I missed seeing so much was no longer there. Instead, I was staring at a picture of a grown-up man. So handsome yet gorgeous!
My best friend from Busan. I had no knowledge that he was a member of BTS this whole time. I felt so proud of him!
"Gosh JK, he made his dream come true! Daebak!" I smiled at his picture. The unexpected fact got my whole body stirred from ecstatic happiness and longing to see him. I felt very happy for him. "Whoa! Should I pay him a surprise visit?!"
The idea that I discovered his fame and I just arrived in Korea without him knowing sent me a great thrill. I threw myself on the soft mattress and stared at the white ceiling. "But what if... he doesn't recognize me anymore?"
Anxiety suddenly changed the flowing thrill that circulated in my body. "I had never thought of it before. What if Jungkook actually does not know me now? No... he still remembers me, right? But... he was really mad at me when I left him."
My thoughts traveled back to the time when we were innocent childhood friends. The first time I met him was when my family moved to their place in Mandeok-dong, a small town in Busan. Our house was just in front of them. We had the same age so we used to be in the same class until middle school. We were best buddies, but sometimes we would fight a lot especially when we were kids. We grew up as playmates in elementary and bullied each other in middle school. Our study lives were filled with teasing all day in the classroom, cheating on each other's papers, and getting detained at the councilor's office together. We were so sweet and mean to each other, yet so innocent. I knew that JK was the shy boy type who chose to talk to me only and trust me with the silly things I did with him. I was his bad influence. He learned to play video games and liked the taste of mint choco because of me. He was naive and innocent, and that's what I liked about him because he's easy to tease and easily gets tricked.
There is this place that we frequently went to and considered our secret getaway. We made a treehouse hidden well in the forest and only two of us knew about it. It was the best place where we made lots of memories. He invited me to a ghost haunting one night in the forest which I thought was a stupid idea but fun because it can be thrilling, and we ended up sleeping with fear in the treehouse. We were inseparable. We knew each other too well that we felt like we couldn't survive without the other.
We even made a promise to each other that we should always be together when I didn't know that I would be leaving him one day. I never expected that my promise would easily break with just my father's command.
"Ji Hyo-ah... you need to prepare yourself. We will leave for New York after you finish your middle school." My father's sudden announcement came to me as a shock.
When I told JK about it, he became speechless. He didn't talk to me and didn't see me off. His mom said that he did not want to speak to me when I went to see him for the last time. I let him be, and left without a word, with my heart aching with pain and sadness.
Despite that, I made a promise to come back. But now, ten years had passed. We lost communication for a long time. We already had our own busy lives.
Do you think he forgot about me already?
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