Her Innocent Love ✔ 'Completed'

Ch - 37 "Childishness"

"Be a child again. Flirt. Giggle. Dip your cookies in your milk. Take a nap. Say you're sorry if you hurt someone. Chase a butterfly. Be a child again."

~ Unknown 

Part 37

Angel's Pov 

I looked at my broken leg and hand on the moon light, it's not a new thing that happened, just the process was different.

Nowadays, I just wonder why I always end up in a situation like this.

When I woke up at the hospital four days ago, I didn't ever imagine Blaize would be there. 

When he touched me, I froze. I waited for the anxiety to come. 

I waited for my fear to overcome me but nothing happened, it's like my body welcomes him with open arms. It's like he is a part of me. 

I should have known, it's what love is. Then Adrian entered and instantly my body cells vibrated with fear and I found pure safety in Blaize's arms. 

I again became the old angel, who was feared to get any kind of attention. I just wanted to stay in the dark and get some peace, where no one can see me and see the scars on my soul. 

Suddenly the light turned on but I kept looking down. "I heard, you didn't have dinner" when I didn't reply he sighed and sat beside me. 

"I just went out for 3 hours Angel, you shouldn't skip your food. It's 1am sweety. Come, we will eat together downstairs, you didn't left this room since you came from hospital" 

I again didn't reply and he left the room with a sigh. 

Blaize is being extra sweet nowadays, I mean I like this Blaize and he is just like my old Blaize but I know he will snap any time. 

At the hospital he apologised many times and I was wondering what he was sorry for? For leaving me alone years ago to bear all that or he didn't believe me over those photos? Or both? I don't know. 

He took care of me like I'm a fragile thing. He carried me home and helped me with everything. 

He even helped me with bathing and changing clothes, of course he always closes his eyes but that makes me very very…. I don't know what we call that feeling….. It was scary and happy together.

He treats me like I'm his….. I'm his everything. But I don't want to believe this, I know something will come again and he will again turn back into that angry beast. 

Even if I let him take care of me, I never say a word. He did all sweet talks but since hospital I never uttered a word. Yes I told you I'm again caught up in my own darkness, like before and I like it that way.

There was Kate who pulled me out of my darkness, but this time I have no reason to come out of this darkness.  My life is itself tinted with the darkness. 

"Hey, will you stop looking like a dead corpse?" I heard Blaize and again he took a seat beside me. 

He had a tray full of food, "Angel, it's been many days since I heard your voice, can you please say something for me? You can scold me, do anything just please speak" he pleaded and my heart beat got faster again. 

I looked down but he put his finger on my chin and made me look into his eyes. No, I won't fall again, I won't believe. I need to stay in darkness so I won't need to come back here again and again. 

I need to distance myself from him too. "Please?" He again pleaded. "See I made your favourite fried rice, open your mouth" he took the rice with a spoon and urged me to open my mouth.

I turned my head and laid under the blanket. He sighed again and I felt him laid beside me after a minute. He always sleeps with me now, surprisingly I don't have nightmares when I'm with him. 

But this new Blaize is like my old blaize and it's just so overwhelming when he pulled me in his arms while sleeping. 

As I said before, it's very happy as well as scary. 

"If you won't eat then I won't either, it's okay I can sleep hungry. Who even cares if I haven't eaten anything since morning. No one cares for me" I was surprised, not because he didn't eat, but because he was talking childishly.

I turned my head and looked at him, he was giving me innocent looks making me surprised again. 

It's really like I have my old Blaize, but I don't want to believe it. I don't want any hope to crumble again and again.

I want to tell him my feelings but I don't know how he will react. Since I met him again, he never lets me express my feelings so I don't know what he will do. 

I also don't want to give him my heart again so he can walk upon it again. 

I sat on the bed and looked at the food tray on the side table. I took a deep breath and put the tray on my lap carefully with one hand. He was looking at me surprisingly but composed himself when he saw I was looking.  

I tried to feed him rice but he turned his head like I did. I blinked but he raised an eyebrow. 

"First you eat" I shook my head slowly and he huffed like a child. 

When did the angry beast turn into this little child? Is he drunk ?  Or is he sick? I touched his head with the back of my hand. No he is fine. 

He rolled his eyes at me and pulled my hand to his. "I'm fine, don't worry. Just eat please, my stomach is hurting. I need food and I'll have it only if you have. So will you have some mercy on me?" 

I nodded my head and about to take some food but he took the spoon before me. 

"Let me please" see this has been happening for 4 days. He must have hit his head somewhere. 

Again he fed me like I'm a little girl and slept with me in his arms. 

My heart was telling me to enjoy this happiness but my mind is telling me to ignore it because it will eventually die out soon and my life will once again be filled with only fear, pain, loneliness and mostly darkness.

This time I decided to listen to my mind.

Next Day Benny and Chris were back from their little business trip for 3 days. I'm kinda glad that Benny is back because now she can be here with me instead of Blaize. 

Now I won't have to control my emotions and heart, every time he touches me. 

Everytime he touches me, he makes me want to believe that I'm finally getting near to my happiness.

And I don't want to get some false hope.  

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Author's Note

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