Axel

Chapter 66

MIA'S P.O.V

I bring the hot cup of coffee to my lips taking a hesitant sip and burning my tongue in the process. I need to leave it cool off for a few more minutes. I spent 4 days with my parents before coming back yesterday night. Maya graciously left me to stay at hers and James place for the time being until I find an apartment to rent.

Things were awfully quiet in the past couple of days. I haven't spoken with Axel at all, not that I have tried to reach him but I don't know, I think he's the one that needs to do it. I'll swing by his flat in a few days maybe, I'll see.

I haven't talked with Carter either, well, not until today that is. I texted him if he could meet me at this small not too busy coffee shop to talk about us. I didn't like how I ended things between us. I never wanted us to split like this or hold grudges against each other.

I'm happy to say that he agreed and I'm waiting for him since I came 10 minutes earlier. I wanted to clear out my thoughts and make mental notes of what I wanted to say to him. I knew that I hurt him unintentionally and it's funny because I was always trying to find a way so none of us would get hurt in the end and it seems like all of us did anyway. I broke Carter's heart, Axel broke mine and his with his actions and words. I haven't seen him at uni either, I don't know if this took such a toll on him that he's skipping classes.

"Hey, " Carters voice snaps me out of my thoughts as I turn my gaze from a painting on the wall to his face.

"Hi, thanks for coming, " I say and offer him a small smile. I don't want things to be awkward between us.

"No need to thank me. I wanted to talk with you anyway without Axel, " there is a hint of bitterness when he says his name.

I can't really blame him for that.

"Yeah, look, Carter, I never wanted things to go this way" he stops me by raising his palm a bit.

"When you say this way, are you referring to us breaking up or the way we broke up?" He says with a frown on his face.

I take a sip of my coffee not really minding the burning sensation now since my throat seems to be getting awfully dry.

"The way we broke up. I think that us breaking up was unavoidable."

I look at him and see the hurt in his eyes but at the same time, I can't help but think how could he not see that things weren't going good between us for months?

"Things weren't going well between us, even before I and Axel became friends and I'm sure you notice it as well, you must have."

He leans back in his chair and lets out a breath, running his hand through his hair and letting it rest behind his neck. He stares at the wall for a few seconds opening and closing his mouth seemingly lost at words for a little while.

"I knew things were not good. We were arguing a heck of a lot more. I started spending more time with friends and drinking a little too much, putting you in second place. I rely on too much onto the fact that we moved in together and we see each other every day that I relax a bit in the wrong way. I also do know that I was avoiding serious talks with you at the best of my ability. I didn't like being wrong. I didn't like admitting that I was doing something that was damaging our relationship. I was an egoistic asshole and I know that and I'm sorry."

"You knew there was a problem but you choose to ignore it and that is worse Carter."

"I know and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not loving you enough. I'm sorry for not letting you speak. I'm sorry for not listening to you. I'm sorry for not being the best boyfriend I could for you. I'm sorry for not putting much effort into our relationship after moving in together. I'm sorry. I can't really take back the time and change things, the only thing I can do now is to learn from them," he says.

"I think we both knew deep down that we should break up but we ignored it which ended up making things worse and dragging them on."

"Yeah you're right, and I knew that after we returned from our break we would have broken up officially. You wanted to make sure you and Axel were for real and I wanted to gather up my thoughts and prepare myself for the breakup. I shouldn't have come to Axel's place that day cause it threw all the preparation out the fucking window." Carter says.

"You know, I used to believe at some point that maybe if things were a bit different and Axel wasn't in the picture at all maybe, just maybe, we would've had stayed together. Now I know that we were doomed to failure way before that and nothing was going to change our fate. That doesn't mean though that I wanted things to end as they did. I own you an apology too. I'm sorry for emotionally cheating on you with Axel. I'm sorry for the way I ended things and for the way I spoke to you that day. I didn't mean to make it looked like you were the only one to blame. I'm sorry." I take his hand in mine that was resting on the table and squeeze it.

"I still love you and care about you and I want us to stay friends. I don't want to lose you completely from my life. We've been friends for years before getting together and I want us to go back to that friendship. That's if you want that as well, " I bite my lip before soothing it with my tongue.

I truly did want us to stay friends. I'm the type of person that believes that you can stay friends with your ex. It all depends on the people involved in the relationship and how the relationship ended, what was the reason.

For us, I'll like to say that the reason was lack of love from my part at least and lack of effort from his side as well as not good communication. Is not like someone was toxic or abusive.

A relationship could end for many reasons.

He smiles and gives my hand a squeeze back before placing his other hand on top of ours as well.

"It's going to be a challenge. It's going to take some time and it might be weird at the beginning. Especially after so many years of doing all those things together. I felt your skin beneath mine, your lips on mine, your taste it's going to be hard to forget. I need to get used to living alone again. Used to not seeing you or talking to you every day. Used to not touching you in a more sexual matter. Used to not saying I love you in a romantic way. It will take some time but of course, I want us to stay friends. I lost you as a girlfriend I don't want to lose you as a friend as well." He chuckles and shakes his head as a wide smile is spread on my face.

We spent the next two hours drinking coffee and talking about what else happened with me and Axel as well as what we would do during summer. He is thinking of going on a trip with some of his friends to Lyon, France. I don't know what I'll do yet. My priority is finishing three assignment that I have and clearing things with Axel.

Until then I'll see what I'm going to do.

Hopefully, it will involve two people and no I'm not talking about my two girlfriends for the most part.

A/N

Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Some much-needed clearing happened today!

Do you think that people can stay friends after breaking up?

What do you think about Carter now?

Feel free to comment & vote! ❤️

I hope you have a nice day and night! Xx

All the love - M ❤️