1: Skinny Love (Ed. Cullen)

54

Bambi turns her bottle of pills around in her hand, she's....fighting herself again. She has better control on the voices, true, but it's so much easier to just take the pills and make them all go away. Make everything better. Trying to control her 'gift', to keep her secrets secret, to remain positive and up beat, Bella needs her to be strong, but she can't do it all. Her cell phone pings and Bambi takes a deep breath before grabbing it. 2 missed calls from Edward, 1 from Caleb, 3 from Jacob. She's been ignoring the world all morning, she just wants it all to go away. A day where she doesn't have to lie or pretend, a day where she can do and be who she wants. She sets the phone down and moves across to the toilet where she proceeds to empty her bottle of medication into the bowl before flushing them. She takes a deep breath and nods to herself grabbing her bottle of 'water' before leaving.

............

Bambi leans in the doorway to Bella's bedroom, Bella Bella sits in a rocking chair by the window. Her face blank. Empty. Bambi sighs and shakes her head before setting her water bottle on the table by the door before moving closer to Bella picking up a hair brush from the dresser and sitting behind her sister.

"Are you hungry?" Bambi asks brushing Bella's hair, Bella shakes her head. "Are you sure? I could bake those little cinnamon munchie do-daddies you like" she offers, Bella looks to her and then nods, Bambi offers her a small smile and nods. "Thought you might" she whispers pulling Bella's hair back.

"How are you okay?" Bella asks accusingly, little more then a whisper, Bambi closes her eyes and sighs.

"I'm not" She argues. "I am not okay, Bells" she tells her. "I'm just....surviving" she admits. "And barely at that" she adds sadly before kissing Bella's head. "I'll bake those things" she stands and turns to leave, Bella grabs her wrist.

"Why?" she begs of her sister. "Why did they leave?" Bambi sighs and closes her eyes.

"I don't know" she lies, a tear sliding down her cheek as Bella lets her go, Bambi is quick to leave grabbing her bottle on the way out.

.......................

Bambi stares out at the ocean as she sits in the sand, legs stretched out, bare feet on the sand, she sighs and closes her eyes hearing footsteps approaching her.

"Hey" Caleb greets sitting next to Bambi who wiggles her toes in the sand as she opens her eyes.

"Hey" she whispers back looking to him. He nudges her slightly and offers a smile.

"What are you doing out here?" he asks. "It's freezing"

"I was running" she answers looking back to the water. "Thinking about going for a swim"

"Nope" he argues. "It's freezing" He repeats. "Can't imagine how cold it is out there" he nods to the water. She shrugs.

"Don't feel the cold" she mumbles a little.

"No, true, but I do" she looks to him. "And I'll feel it pulling your ass out when you drown, the currents this time of day, even you won't be able to swim through them"

"Oh" she breaths out softly and pulls her knees to her chest. "Right" he reaches over and touches her shoulder gently.

"Bambi" he whispers. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" she repeats quietly pulling her sleeve down her hands. "Lots of things" she answers and looks to him. He gives her a sad smile. "I don't know how to be....strong for Bells any more" she admits. "She just sits there all day, every day, barely eats, doesn't sleep....." she looks away. "And I want to curl up in a ball and cry but I don't...because I have to be strong for her, and I don't know how to any more"

"You are allowed to be upset about what happened, Bambi, you got hurt too, and I know how much you want to be the big sister that makes everything better, but bottling everything up" he shakes his head. "It's not going to work" he shrugs and then nudges her. "Tell you what. You can cry in front of me....and I won't tell anyone" she shakes her head and presses her forehead to her knees.

............

Caleb pushes open Jacob's bedroom door and gives his younger brother a look, Jacob raises an eyebrow at Bambi stood beside Caleb.

"Nads?" Jacob asks, she shuffles slightly.

"Can I stay here tonight?" she asks quietly, Jacob nods.

"Yeah, yeah, of course you can" he assures her as he stands, Caleb turns and walks away as Bambi moves into the room. "I'll be right back" Jacob tells Bambi who nods and sits on his bed. Jacob follows after his brother. "Cal" he states, Caleb turns to him, Jacob gives him a look.

"I found her on the beach" Caleb tells him. "I think...I think it's all just building, you know, the loss of Cullen, and the way Bella is, Bambi thinks she has to be this......strong, unfeeling stone" Jacob nods and sighs. "Just give her a hug" Caleb pats his shoulder and walks away, Jacob takes a breath and heads back to his room. Bambi is curled up on his bed, asleep, he smiles a little and closes his door behind him before climbing onto the bed beside her and wraps his arms around her, she relaxes against his chest and lets out a sleepy breath, her hand reaching blindly for his. Jacob could get used to this, sleeping beside his best friend, who he's been in love with for as long as he can remember, he could tell her now, that Cullen boy is gone, but he knows her, he knows she's not ready for anything new, anything else, she won't be able to deal with change. Bambi was never very good with change. She needs her best friend and that's what he'll be. She turns around, nuzzling into his neck, her hands clasped against his chest, her shoulders shake. He closes his eyes. She's awake....and crying. And Jacob's heart breaks. He keeps his arms tight around her, his fingers playing with her hair. She doesn't need him to acknowledge her tears, she'll hate that. So he keeps quiet and just holds her. He's never seen her cry before. Not in all the years they've been friends. This is hard for him.