"𝐈 𝐖𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑
'𝐘𝐄𝐒 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋', 𝐍𝐎𝐓
𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄."
Natasha Romanoff and Yelena Belova weren't the only girls to escape the clutches of the Red Room Academy, nor were they the only two girls to go on the mission from 1995. The...
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𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌 𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐀, 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐀 2005
“Isn't it lovely? All alone. Heart made of glass, my mind of stone.”
𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐀𝐓 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓,
all because of that one word. His whole body taut like the string of a guitar from hearing the words leave her lips. That one word, and the flickering of images of the past filled him.
Images of a blonde man laughing and smiling at him, tall buildings and the sound of busy streets, an older woman kissing his cheeks telling him how proud she was of him as a younger girl hugged him tightly.
Images and snippets of life he had lived and yet couldn’t remember filled his mind like a flood, and along with it pain. So much pain as with the good came the bad.
Screaming, gunshots, and an older man in a car looking up at him with wide eyes as he took in the grave image of him. The same name falling from his lips.
‘Bucky?’
In an instant he jumped from the small metal cot, panic filling him to the point he could feel his chest restrict and his heart felt that any moment it would jump from his chest from how hard it was beating.
His vision was becoming blurry as he became more and more destressed. Images going through his mind, the guilt eating away from him along with the deep and endless sadness.
From the distance he could hear the soft voice of someone talking, but it was all fuzzy in his ears. All he could hear was the memories and the growing sharp sound in his ears, he was only vaguely aware of the soft touch of rough palms on his hand.
“Soldat?” the even softer voice whispered. “Soldat, come back. Come back to me.”
With his weak vision he turned to the source and found warm yet worried brown eyes staring at him. He felt his eyes moved slowly down, finding a constellation of freckles, warm cheeks, and full lips down turned in worry, all looking back at him.
“Come back to me.” she whispered. “Follow my breathing, okay.”
He nodded, only the movement felt so distant to him as he felt her guide him to the small cot to sit. His whole body was numb, heavy even as he sat on the cold bed. Eyes far away as he stared ahead, foggy with memories and guilt.
Maggie came to sit in front of him, taking his hand in hers and began to rub soothing circles to help ground him back to her.
“I want you to follow after me, okay?” she said in a soothing voice.
Nodding, he watched as she took a slightly exaggerated breath as a demonstration.
“Breath in,” she inhaled. “Breath out.” she exhaled.
He thought it simple enough and with shaky lungs, he inhaled in the same rhythm as her and then exhaled. They did this together until his body stopped shaking and the memories were far and few in his mind. All that was left after, were the little twitches of his shaking and the dampness he felt on his cheeks.
The Soldat felt hollow and he felt cold, both feelings taking over the sadness that once filled him. Tears of frustration and sadness rested on the edges of his lash line, self consciousness taking over him at someone seeing his moment of weakness. He bit his lip harshly as he all but glared down at his feet.
“I should go,” he hissed, more angry at himself than her. “I-I need to leave!”
He moved to stand, but felt himself being jerked back down to the cot. With a snarl of yell ready on his lips, he felt it dissipate from him as he looked back into warm brown eyes.
“If…you’re worried I’m going to judge you….or anything else…then you’re wrong.” she whispered.
He watched with wide eyes as she brought a hand up and almost feather light touch, wiped away a stray tear that had fallen from his eyes. An understanding and empathetic look taking over her soft features.
For the entire time he was frozen still, watching almost entranced at all her little moves as she took care of him.
“It’s okay to have emotions, to feel.” her voice was soft. “It’s okay.”
Her hand rested softly against his stubbled cheek, a mellow smile on her lips. For years The Soldat was taught and trained to not feel, to just do as he was told. To be the perfect weapon of Hydra.
To not fight when they strapped him to the chair and melted his mind of his memories, of his own being as to be a better recipient of orders, to control without a fight.
Though, through all of that, it didn’t stop the memories from showing up now and then. For the frost in his mind to melt away and for those good and bad memories to flow into his mind and for him to remember.
To feel the endless guilt that came with everything, and as he stared into her dark doe eyes he felt that even more. Guilt for seeking comfort and guilt for what he knew.
“Not when you are me.” he told her, his voice almost too faint to hear.
With more strength then he knew that he had, he gently took her hand and pulled it away from his face. He missed the warmth it brought, but he knew it better this way as he moved to stand up.
“I have to go, they’ll notice I’ve been gone too long.” he turned to walk back to the door, but stopped once.
His head only turning once to look at her, his face now a mask of the Winter Soldier, but his eyes were all warmth when on her.
“Thank you.”
With that he was gone, and once he was hidden behind the door of her room did he release the breath he had been holding after she had touched his cheek. The guilt he had once felt during his panic attack, filling once again along with his first memory of her.
“I’m sorry.”
°•☆•°Author's Note°•☆•°~
Three chapters in one day!!! Hope you guys enjoy seeing things from Bucky's point of view. Sadly this will be one of the last few chapters of them together, but do not fret we will see more of Maggie and Bucky together in Part Two!!!
What MCU characters do think Maggie will have strong bonds with? Let me know.
