"Jake, y/n, welcome to my cabin, AKA the Boom-Boom Stateroom" said Judy, opening the door behind him.
They all walked into the room.
"Little perk of being Carousel Cruises' entertainer of the year" said Judy. He began to sing: "Which I am, girrr-rl."
"A little pitch-y" said Jake.
"You're welcome to chill here. It's the least I can do to thank you for protecting me" Judy said.
"Never. This protection scam is a scam. Do you honestly think you can fool me again just because you've successfully done it numerous times before?" Jake asked.
"Look, my old boss wants me dead. I've been laying low on this ship, and I got word from a friend on the inside that they've found me and there's a hitman coming to end my beautiful life. That's why I sent you the free tickets" Judy said.
"No! No, no way. I'm not buying it. You can't get away from me again. Y/n and I are gonna spend every second of our romantic cruise watching you, assuming that's okay?" said Jake.
"Uh, yep. That's what we're gonna do. Guess we're not going to be doing any more activities" said y/n.
"No, no, no, no, y/n/n. You can still do the activities, but we have to find the hitman before he finds me. What you've planned will take us all over the boat" said Judy, looking at the list of activities.
"I didn't actually think about that" said y/n.
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Y/n, Jake and Judy were doing the crossword activity.
"I got five down. I figured out the theme, and it's boats" said y/n happily.
"Okay, I get it" said Judy. "She's smart and loveable; You're scrappy and loveable; Together you're just loveable and loveable."
"Okay, so where's this hitman, Judy?" asked Jake.
"Look, I don't know who they sent, but he's on the boat" said Judy. "Check out this manifest. Somebody boarded in San Juan named Henry Coles."
"Henry Street and Coles Street, that's the corner of your old chop shop in Brooklyn. This is an alias" said Jake.
"Uh-huh. And my porter buddy checked out Henry Coles' cabin, he hasn't been in it yet. He's hiding somewhere on this boat ready to jump out and kill me at any moment. Probably creepin' around in my closet" Judy said.
"Or stowed away in a lifeboat" Jake said.
"Or hiding in a wall" Judy said.
"Or holed up in the engine room" Jake said.
"Camouflaged in the shrubbery" said Judy.
"Predator style" said Jake and Judy.
They almost high-fived, but Jake said "No. We are not having fun. You will not suck me in with your wily charms."
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Y/n, Jake and Judy were now playing shuffle-board. Jake watched an elderly lady take out a shuffle-board stick from her bag and extend it.
"Who takes their own shuffle-board stick on a cruise?" asked Jake.
"They're called tangs" answered Judy.
"There is no way they're called tangs" said Jake.
"It's true" said y/n. "And the disks are called biscuits."
Y/n pushed the biscuit down the board.
"Tangs and biscuits?" asked Jake. "That is so dumb. I officially love shuffle-board. Clear a path! I'm about to whip my biscuit!"
Jake pushed his biscuit down the board and it almost hit y/n's leg.
"Whoo!" said Jake.
"About time you smiled, Jake. You've been a real tang in the mud" said Judy. "Hey, little advice. Y/n is great. You want to keep her, be more receptive to her interests."
"All right, now you're taking it too far, Judy. I don't need relationship advice from my criminal arch-nemesis" said Jake.
"Look, I just want to see you two happy" Judy said.
"No. This is just another one of your lies, just like your fake hitman" Jake said.
"There is a hitman on this boat. Henry Coles is coming to kill me" Judy said.
An elderly man overheard. "Excuse me?"
"What?" asked Jake.
"You said my name. I'm Henry Coles" said Henry.
"You're Henry Coles?" asked Jake.
"According to my medical alert bracelet" said Henry, pointing at his wrist.
"Well, this is interesting. This is Henry Coles. Let's take a look at that" said Jake, looking at Henry's medical alert bracelet. "Oh, it says 'Doug Judy is a liar.'"
"Actually, it says I'm a fall risk" Henry said.
"Okay, you're kind of ruining my burn here, Henry" said Jake.
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Y/n and Jake followed Judy down a hallway.
"I knew it. I knew Henry Coles was a ninety year old man with Type 1 diabetes and emphysema. Obviously, I didn't know those specifics, but I knew you were lying" said Jake.
"So Henry Coles wasn't the guy. My bad. There's still somebody on this boat who wants to kill me" said Judy.
"You're trying to get away, and it's not going to happen. We're spending the rest of this trip in your cabin. Y/n and I will take sleep shifts to make sure someone's always watching you" Jake said.
"Thank you. That makes me feel super safe" Judy said.
Judy opened the door to his suite.
"And if you want to smush, I have a sleep mask and noise cancelling headphones" said Judy.
Judy walked into the suite.
"Can't we just lock him up in there? Do we really have to trade off sleep for the next six nights?" you asked.
"I know. I'm sorry. But he did say that he'd wear a mask if we want to smush" said Jake.
"Fine. I get it. He's the Pontiac Bandit. You take the first shift" said y/n, walking away.
"Thank you so much. You're the best" said Jake.
Glass shattered from inside the suite. Jake ran into to a man wearing a mask holding Judy by the neck.
"Hey, NYPD! Let him go!" said Jake.
The man left go of Judy and ran out of the suite.
"Now do you believe me? That guy was trying to kill me" said Judy.
"All right, fine! Someone wants you dead! You win" said Jake.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake. "Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said. "For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you." "I like you too" you said. Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
