Jake and Rosa were sat at Jake's desk watching the surveillance tapes.
"Okay, here I am, taking pictures with Terry's kids. Man, I look so strong standing next to them. Should I have kids?" asked Jake.
"Sure" said Rosa.
"Okay" Jake said.
"It's Holt" Rosa said. "Whoa, how did he do that?"
"Guy has an insane set of abs. Oh, look, he's got the crown. And he's headed to the break room" Jake said.
"He dumped it in the trash. Did he go back and get it?" asked Rosa.
Jake switched to the camera in the break room. "Nope, janitor came in and took it. But which janitor? Looks like I'm going to have to squint." Jake squinted at the screen as the janitor took away the trash. "His name is Al. Al the janitor. All right, it's 11pm now. That means Al's long gone. How are we gonna get his home address?"
"Who's the one person you know who's anal enough to send out holiday cards to every single employee?" asked Rosa.
-------------------------
Amy and y/n were sorting out files in the briefing room when Jake walked in.
"Amy!" said Jake, smiling.
"What do you want, Jake?" asked Amy suspiciously.
"What? Why would you assume that I want anything?" asked Jake. "What I want is to apologize to my close friend, who I hurt."
"It's 'whom'" corrected Amy.
"Why does the word 'who' even exist if you're not allowed to say it?" Jake asked. "Anyways, now that I've apologized and you've accepted, can you give the janitor Al's address?"
"This is related to the heist, isn't it?" you asked.
"No, no. It's about a crime. I think janitor Al is going to kill the president" answered Jake.
Holt walked into the briefing room. "Oh, Santiago. There's my protégé."
"Let me guess - You want the janitor's address" said Amy, unimpressed.
"Janitor? Address? Al?" said Holt.
"I never said his name" Amy said. "Well, isn't this rich. After being excluded by both of you, here I am with the power to decide who wins and loses your little heist."
"I wouldn't have it any other way. You are my wisest detective" Holt said.
"Pathetic. She can't be manipulated, sir. Amy, we are very close friends. And if you give me the address, I'll make y/n and Rosa go with you to the museum thing you want to go to" said Jake.
"Museum exhibits? What's that compared to the respect of a workplace superior?" asked Holt.
"Enough!" Amy said. "Pretending to be nice to me is worse than being mean. You know what? You want the address? Here, you can both have it."
She sent the address to Holt and Jake.
"Hope you're happy, you selfish monsters" said Amy, leaving the room with y/n.
"I feel terrible" said Jake.
"We should apologize" Holt said.
"Yes, I agree. You definitely should now; I'll do mine tomorrow" Jake said.
"Fat chance" said Holt.
Jake grabbed his comm. "Charles, I need your butt. Meet me downstairs."
"Alpha Team, this is the Golden Sparrow. Rendezvous at Drop Zone Yankee" said Holt into his comm.
"When did you come up with all those codenames?" asked Jake.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake. "Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said. "For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you." "I like you too" you said. Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
