"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake.
"Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said.
"For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you."
"I like you too" you said.
Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
Jake walked over to Charles' desk with a large suitcase. "Okeydoke, the car is picking me and y/n up in two minutes. You sure you're cool keeping tabs on my cases while I'm on the cruise?"
"You bet. I hope you have a great time. Hey, don't make any new best friends" said Charles.
Jake and Charles both laughed.
"Maybe you shouldn't go" said Charles.
"Are you kidding? I am psyched to go on this week-long cruise, just sitting around doing nothing" Jake said. "Straight up living that slug life, y'all."
Y/n walked over. "I just got back from the laminator and have a list of activities I would like to do on the cruise."
"Oh, I actually thought we could just... Sit by the pool, eat unlimited shrimp and see what it does to our bodies" said Jake.
"That sounds nice. Not sure if there will be time though. The cruise offers seventy-seven activities, and I want to do a few each day" you said.
"Okay, so slightly different perspectives going into this cruise. Call it the slug life talking, but I think it's gonna work itself out" said Jake. "Goodbye, co-workers or as they like to say at sea..."
Jake imitated a ship's horn.
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"This is so great" said y/n, walking on to the boat.
"Yeah" said Jake. "Seagulls, check. The ocean, check. A gang of oldies in short shorts, check, check, check. We are definitely on a cruise."
"Welcome aboard" said a photographer, walking over to y/n and Jake. "Say 'I love Carousel Cruises International Ltd.'"
Y/n and Jake both smiled for the camera.
"I love Carousel Cruises International Ltd" said y/n awkwardly whilst Jake said "I don't want to say that."
"All right" said Jake after the photographer walked away.
"The Sail Away party is in an hour, and I think before that we should relax with some live music at the all-ages piano lounge" you said.
"Okay, okay. Or we could just head straight to the room. I bought a plastic tarp so we can eat shrimp in bed" said Jake.
"But there's shrimp at the all-ages piano lounge, along with bottomless margaritas. There's also a drink with a potato skin in it" said y/n.
"Ohh. To the all-ages piano lounge, merlady" said Jake.
----------------------
Y/n and Jake were stood watching the stage in the all-ages piano lounge.
"Welcome aboard, ladies and gentlemen, but especially ladies" said the pianist.
"I know that voice" whispered Jake.
"Get ready. It's time for some smush songs" said the pianist.
The lights turned on, focusing on the pianist.
Jake gasped. "Doug Judy. The Pontiac Bandit. He's here."
"We got songs about smushing, songs for smushing to, songs for the kids. This is the all-ages piano lounge" said Judy.
"I can't believe he's here. I've been hunting him for years, and now fate has dropped him right into my lap. He's gonna be so surprised when he sees me" Jake said.
"Hey, Peralta, you made it" said Judy.
The spotlight pointed at y/n and Jake.
"What took you so long, brother?" asked Judy.
"Okay, seems like he's playing it pretty cool. Probably more surprised on the inside" Jake said.
"Uh-huh" you said, nodding.
------------------
"Peralta, it's no coincidence you're on this ship. You won a free cruise without entering a contest. How do you think that happened?" asked Judy.
"I don't know. Maybe it's because I bought 'Speed 2' on DVD, and the Internet realized that cruises were one of my interests" said Jake.
"Great film. Sandy B in a sarong" said Judy.
"Damn straight" said Jake, and him and Judy fist-bumped each other.
"But the tix are all me. I brought you here 'cause I'm in peril" said Judy.
"Pfft. Peril" Jake said.
"Don't 'pfft' my peril" said Judy.
"Pfft" Jake said.
"Somebody's trying to kill me, and I need protection, so I sent for my best friend" said Judy.
"I am not your best friend. I am your worst enemy. Get that through your head" Jake said.
"It's this kind of bickering that makes us such an adorable couple" Judy said to y/n.
"What are you, married?" you asked.
"Whatever, Judy. You're under arrest" said Jake.
"You can't arrest me, boo. We're in international waters, which is also why I can smoke as much weed as I want. Welcome to the high seas" said Judy.
"No, no way that that's true. Y/n, tell me I can arrest him right now" said Jake.
"As much as I hate to say it, Judy's right. We have no jurisdiction. Technically this boats flies under the flag of Uzbekistan" you said.
"Uh-oh. Your girl knows about the Uzbeks. Boom" said Judy.
"But the captain can have him arrested. He has total authority on this boat" you added.
"Perfect. Captains love me. Just wait until he or she finds out they're employing a criminal" said Jake.
---------------------
"Yeah, about forty percent of the crew are criminals" explained the captain.
Jake groaned.
"It's hard to find normal people who want to live on a boat. I, myself, am a tax evader" continued the captain.
"I just need him locked up till we get back to New York. Can't you just throw him in boat jail?" asked Jake.
"It's called the brig" said Judy.
"He is my best lounge singer, and I need to keep people distracted. Just between us, we're nearly out of ranch dressing" said the captain.
"On day one?" asked y/n.
"These people are animals. Listen, as long as he's on my boat, Doug Judy is a free man" said the captain.
