First and Last (Love and Hate Book 1)

Chapter 4

"I'm serious Kallie, tell me what happened." I blinked a few times. I'm pretty sure I just did.

"I just did." She rolled her eyes, clearly, she doesn't believe me.

"Ok, then I must have misheard you because it sounded like you said you had sex with Hayden Young. Your brother's best friend Hayden. The same Hayden you hate. I mean, that's just not possible." I sighed.

"You didn't mishear me. I had sex with Hayden at the infamous party." Apparently, this is the time where we switch roles because I sat down and she stood up and started pacing.

"Ok, so you're telling me that you not only did you lose your v-card and not tell me, but you lost it to Hayden, who I'll say it again, is your brother's best friend."

"You didn't tell me when you lost your virginity, so that argument is invalid." She threw her hands in the air and groaned.

"Of course I didn't! You told me as soon as Landon and I got together that you didn't want to hear about your brother's sex life, even if it was also your best friends. I just don't understand why you didn't tell me."

"Because it was humiliating."

"What? Why?"

"Because, it was fast and painful and as soon as it was over, he rolled over and told me not to tell Landon and then left. That was it. The first time I got a little alcohol in my system, I took my clothes off and spread my legs, for the closest person I could find. The second it was over it was instant regret and I've spent every second since then in self-loathing."

"Hayden was an adult and he had sex with a 15-year-old, that's not just wrong, it's illegal." I sighed.

"Almost. He was almost an adult. His birthday is three days after mine." She let out a weird grunting noise.

"Bullshit, he knew better!"

"Yeah, but it's not his fault I hate myself." She sighed, looking resigned.

"I don't blame you for hating him, I hate him now too." Beth sat down next to me and looked like she was thinking up something, "I am going to kick his ass." Before I could even blink the door was opened and my best friend was racing down the hall.

"Beth!" I called chasing after her. I made it into the Livingroom just as Beth's fist made contact with his face.

"Oh my God! Bethany. What. The Hell." I looked at Hayden and he looked beyond shocked.

"Uhh, did I miss something?" Hayden looked back and forth between the two of us.

"You shut your mouth!" Beth demanded.

"Ok, sure, but can you tell me why you punched me in the face?" He asked cautiously.

"I thought you were the good guy Hayden, but you're not. You're a pig and a creep. God, just wait until Landon kicks your ass. He might actually murder you and you'll deserve it." She spun around and I had to physically stop her from stomping down the hall and ruining my life.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to tell Landon that his best friend is a horrible person." I shook my head feeling tears come to my eyes.

"You can't." Her brows furrowed.

"What? Why the hell not? Your brother deserves to know that his best friend took advantage of his baby sister." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Beth, stop. This is my secret and I get to decide who knows. Landon under no circumstances is to ever know." She practically screamed.

"Are you seriously defending him?"

"No, Beth, I'm not. Yes, he was a jerk and he hurt me, and yes it's the biggest mistake I have ever made, but he didn't force me or pressure me. I made a choice and I have to live with that. It was consensual sex between two tipsy teenagers." Beth basically deflated at that.

"Fine, but eventually he's going to find out. Maybe not for twenty years or maybe next week, but he is going to find out and I'm not going to be there to pick up the pieces of the shattered relationships." She stormed off and everything was awkwardly tired for a while.

"Why did you tell her?" Hayden said softly breaking the silence.

"She demanded I tell her. Besides, you have no right to be mad at me. I can tell whoever the hell I want." He smiled at me.

"I know, I wasn't mad. I've been waiting to get my ass kicked for three years. To be honest, I think you should tell him. I deserve an ass-kicking."

"I'm not going to tell him, Hayden and we are never going to speak of it again. Lock it in the vault and forget it happened." I turned around and started to walk away.

"Kallie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry. I was selfish and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. So, if you want to lock it up and forget it happened then that's what we can do." the sincerity in his eyes threw me for a loop, and for a second I forgot.

I forgot that I hated him.

I forgot that my life is a mess.

I just forgot.

Then I remembered and I had to get out of there.

"I gotta go." I sped off to my room where I locked myself in for the foreseeable future. In other words, until I had to pee or got hungry.

++++++++++++

Sorry, this chapter is kind of short, because of the way I've rewritten it, there is a whole part of this chapter that no longer fits, and rather than making something up or trying to rush into the next chapter I just decided to end it here.

While I have changed somethings since Chapters, I made a plan for the whole book a while ago and I was happy with how this book was going and I want to keep that, just better.

Anyway, The next chapter should be coming soon.

Lots and lots of love,

Kassie