First and Last (Love and Hate Book 1)

Chapter 34

"I, umm, I, uh." I stammered, completely caught off guard by Beth's question.

"Kallie, do you love him?" I looked around, hoping to find an escape route.

"You know it's ok if you do. At least you didn't fall in love with a compulsive cheater." Josie shrugged. I took a deep breath and looked up at my friends.

"Yeah, I do. I never thought it was possible, but yeah. I love him. I love Hayden." I wiped my eyes getting all weepy, "But just because I love him, doesn't mean I should be with him."

"The only question is do you want to be with him?" I rubbed my temples. All these questions and emotions are making my head hurt.

"Here, these might help." Beth reached into her giant bag and pulled out a small stack of envelopes, "These are from Hayden. Long story short, I've been holding on to them until you were ready. It's that time. Read the one on top first. Ladies, let's give her some space." She awkwardly stood up, being way more dramatic than she needs to be.

As soon as they were out of the room, I ripped open the envelope on the top.

Dear Kallie,

Beth caught me putting a letter on your bed yesterday. She told me to stop. She said you hadn't read any of my letters. She said she caught Landon throwing them away. Apparently, he doesn't want us to talk ever again. Doesn't bode well for his and I's relationship and as much as my friendship with Landon means to me, you mean more.

When Beth found the letters, she saved them from being destroyed and decided to keep them. She didn't think you were ready to hear from me. So, she said she was going to hold onto them until you were.

I guess if you're reading this that means you're ready. She told me to write one last letter telling you why she's giving you these letters, so I guess this is it. I wrote you some letters to explain myself and hopefully win you back. It's been two weeks now and this is my 5th and last letter.

The ball is officially in your court. I'm here whenever you're ready. For whatever you are ready for.

With Love,

Hayden

I set the first or I guess the fifth letter down and opened the next one.

Dear Kallie,

I really screwed things up, didn't I? I know what I did was wrong and I sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart. I should have told you, I don't know why I didn't. Actually, that's not true, I know exactly why I did it. I figured, I was already in enough trouble for standing you up and anything else could wait.

It was stupid and selfish and there's honestly no excuse for what I did. I wish I could sit here and tell you that you should forgive me, but that's not up to me. I adore you, Kalista, I always have and I always will, but I haven't done a very good job of showing you that.

So, I'm going to do better. Starting today, I'm going to show you. I'm going to prove to you that you are my everything.

Even if you never talk to me again, I'll never stop doing everything in my power to prove my devotion to you.

You are my everything, Kallie.

With Love,

Hayden

My eyes were stinging by the time I finished the letter. He admitted his wrongdoings but didn't try to give lame excuses or demand I forgive him. It makes me want to forgive him.